Yesterday was parent appreciation day at my daughter’s school. It was so sweet. The first and eighth grade performed, the teachers put out a delicious spread for the parents and my daughter’s former kindergarten teacher who is now the interim director welcomed us in the traditional Waldorf way with a huge heart and singing. I felt so appreciated and nostalgic as this is my daughter’s last year at Yuba River Charter since she is now an eighth grader. Years ago we visited about 30 schools from Arizona to Oregon before choosing to move here largely because of this school. I had tears of joy when we first visited as it was so soulful and alive, so different from many of the school we visited were I cringed to think of my precious daughter there. Yesterday I again had tears of joy for how this school has sheltered and nurtured our whole family. As my daughter begins high school next year I hope her new school will foster her spirit with the same loving attention. As Dr. Rudolf Steiner said, “Receive the children in reverence, Educate them in love, And send them forth in freedom. ” How beautiful to see how this has unfolded.
Afterward I spoke briefly with the parent of a first grader. It seems a million years ago and yesterday that my daughter was a first grader. Her school has a beautiful ceremony. On the first day of school the eighth graders give their assigned first grade buddies a rose. On the last day of school, their first grade buddies give each of the eighth graders a rose. I almost start crying when I think of how much this school has meant to me, to feel my daughter is held in love and reverence for the most part. The teachers are so dedicated. I must also admit to worrying, an old ingrained habit that is perhaps genetical and certainly was the pattern of one of my parents, about my daughter’s high school. Will they hold her with the same reverence, seeing her unique gifts? Because of how much my daughter’s learning differences had affected her self esteem, I notice some trepidation arising. As parents we are faced with the impossible hope of never seeing our children suffer. Good luck with that right? Perhaps there is a bully, a health concern, a significant difference that makes your child unique and thus possibly exposed to teasing. Maybe your child is slow, not good in school, physically challenged, very bright and not allowed to fly in school, shy, angry. As parents we often take on the impossible task of trying to remove those obstacles. I know I literally burst into tears twice at meetings with tutors, once because the tutor seemed to really understand and support us and once because I had summonsed the courage to stand up to a whole team of people and insist they see my child with new, open eyes. How we hope to guard them from the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune! Sometimes the outrageous fortunes are the wounds our children unconsciously stir up in us, wounds from our childhood raised by unconscious parents passing on their wounds to us. Unless we wake up to these wounds, it is more then seven generations that keep the chain of pain building. Yet in these times the tools and possibilities of healing for the last time genuinely exist. So I propose we see all of these challenges in our relationship to our children, to our children’s and our own challenges differently. (ok, i know that sentences is screwed up but I can’t think how to fix it and I love myself enough to let it go.)