I had come to write this blog when I saw my friend Mare had just posted this from Matt Kahn:
Trying to push away, avoid, or transcend any condition is an unsuspecting way of creating a deeper attachment to it. Equally so, opening up and allowing anything in your experience to be welcomed with gratitude, no matter how uncomfortable or inconvenient it seem to be, releases attachments out of your field.
Simply put – what you push away tends to stick around longer. Whatever you welcome, often decides to leave. The moment you ask, “When is this going to go away?” it seems to linger in your energy field. Each time it is welcomed with open arms and given permission to stay as long as it wishes, it receives the freedom to find somewhere else to be. It is important to remember how each uncomfortable pattern is just as much an expression of God consciousness as the ones you prefer. Essentially, they orbit the collective field after being cast away by personal judgments, waiting for someone to welcome them as an equal expression of the divine. As their divinity is acknowledged, each pattern is stripped of any history of judgment of being less than the Divine and returns to the Source of origin to be transmuted back into the totality of light.
It doesn’t have to be imagined as your conditioning to clear, but an opportunity for you to participate in releasing humanity from limiting patterns.
Once you see patterns as the unresolved clutter within the collective field of consciousness, it is your willingness to welcome the divinity in all things, even when they don’t feel so divine, that allows the energetic pressure in your field to lighten for the well-being of all. — MK
Well guess what, the Universe decided to kindly gift me with that exact lesson of what you resist persist, what you welcome, you are often freed from but surely it will at least lighten. While I acknowledge that the energy called anxiety has been one of my two greatest teachers, it has the thing I have embraced with the most reluctance but done fairly well with accepting and feeling it until it decided to linger around, after finally being free of it, not for hours, days or even weeks. It decided to stick around until I truly changed my relationship with it. This allowing and embracing while holding my nose just isn’t flying. Every word Matt said is coming alive for me. The more I trash and flail with it, the more I sink like quicksand. The more I TRULY bless it, be willing to live with it for ever if that is what it takes, the less it threatens to choke me. It is only because it had literally become intolerable again, paralyzing me and cutting off my life force that I have been humbled enough to make this arrangement with that difficult energy. This has been one of my hardest lessons and one that has taken me beyond my knees to my belly, slithering into acceptance. Every word he wrote is my daily experience. Last night I had the intuition to re-listen to a channeled session with my guides and I saw in detail what I could not see then, when the session was done almost exactly a year ago. I saw how it is money and my belief in the relationship it has to my survival and safety that I had been unwilling to release to the divine. I saw my demand for control here. I saw all my intuitions and visions are pointing in one direction. I saw that no one has supported me in this vision, how diametrically opposed it is to most people’s beliefs, how even friends can not envision what I know to be my destiny and the session confirmed. I saw how much courage it takes to go against the beliefs of the entire 3D world that still dominates the planet. I had incredible compassion and gratitude for those of us who keep diving into those uncharted waters. I slept deeply like a baby, fully aligned with my own truth, finally convinced I could pull it off. This morning I felt quite rocky again and the energy others often call “anxiety” was again present but this time I could fully allow it, not demanding it leave asap, knowing it will stay until it is through teaching me which might be forever. Now, after lifetimes fighting this energy, I can finally surrender. I have tears as I write this because this has been one hellacious journey. I pray with grace I will be able to hold with my arms open, welcoming this energy for however long it choses to stay. Wish me godspeed as I wish you with whatever challenge you are facing. God/dess bless.