I just re-listened to a message from my guides from fall of 2011. I love to listen to things as I organize and clean up as that remains one of my more challenging tasks. Listening to something seems to sooth the activity.
My primary question to my guides was about my daughter and the challenges we were having. I must tell you that I had literally forgotten how difficult it was. In fact I was just thinking of writing a post about how good our relationship is, how harmonious, how conscious I experience my daughter. Her friend said she had told him I was going to a party without her for Thanksgiving. I asked him if she’d also mentioned I was doing a separate Thanksgiving exactly as she wished even though it was rather inconvenient for me logistically and he said yes she had. So then I asked her if she was going for the sympathy vote with her friend. She said calmly with great conviction, “I don’t do that.” It is true. She does not complain, whine, judge, blame, criticize or be a victim. I experience her as extraordinarily conscious for a 14 year old. So listening to the difference three years had made was a shock. From birth she had exhibited many of these qualities such as never judging but in other ways both of us were dramatic and charged, often getting into big tussles. She is very private so I will limit myself to one example. When we had any kind of conflict, I would need to get away and sit quietly to rebalance. She needed my presence to counteract her abandonment issues and would literally hang on to me. Once it was so bad I ran frantically from her and slammed myself into the bathroom with her in hot pursuit. When I would not come out, she got a screw driver and tried to take the door down! My guides told me it was a lot of karma, hers and ours. One example was when our village was burning down and we needed to escape and she nearly did not make it out as I was not able to help her escape. The point is our relationship and our inner worlds were very tumultuous. So I am surprised I could have forgotten all but the basic outline of our challenges with all the details having faded. It is also stunning to me to witness how it has all shifted to a dream relationship, all I had ever envisioned. That is how it is now and I share this for those of you in the trenches raising Indigo or other high spirited children. The challenge can be immense and no one can push our buttons like our children. Yet it is clear that her mastery of all my buttons was one of the single most effective ways to support me in dismantling those charges. We need to know where they are, that they exist in order to defuse them. My relationship with my daughter is probably the single most important relationship that has supported my awakening. So we can see the challenges as horrifying and meaningless or as a wake up call designed to bring us to our greatest destiny. While it may not always seem like it, the choice is ours.