My name is Ciela, I am eleven years old and I have learning differences. That might not sound like a big deal, but for me it is a learning hell. Most kids do not have learning differences but those of us who do most likely do not want to go to school. Because of this, they are hard children to raise.
School can be fun but most of the time kids who have learning differences do not understand what the teacher is saying, at least most of the time. I personally feel that it would take an entire day for my teacher to teach me about multiplying big numbers in my head without a piece of paper. This is very frustrating. Different kids will feel different things but me, I feel very angry and disappointed in myself. That of course is not the right way to deal with the situation. I probably should take this calmly and think about it before I start saying I am in a living hell. But hey, that’s how it feels. When I get upset and frustrated I usually feel like I am getting sick to my stomach. How can I put this nicely- I feel like I’m going to puke! I start tapping my foot on the ground or fiddle with my hair. When I can’t understand something that my teacher is teaching, let’s say he was teaching about fractions, and I did not understand what he was saying, I am kind of frustrated and mostly blame myself for being not as smart as the other kids. But sometimes I wish I could go into the head of the smartest girl in the class. But that is not possible so I just think what she might think and just pray that it will be O.K. Am I boring you to death with all that I am saying? Can you imagine feeling so alone. Close your eyes now and think of a child that can’t read, well at least not very much, or do very much math. Imagine being that child and how hard it could be. Be grateful that you do not have a learning difference. But if you do, and are reading what I am saying, you’ll understand exactly what I mean and you’ll know that sometimes you just want to go to Alcatraz and cut a little bit out of you and swim and let the great whites eat you. Or jump off of the Golden Gate bridge on fire. (I got that idea and really considered it for a while because my godmother was a stunt lady for a long time and she actually did it.) But I have never known somebody to actually get eaten by great whites. Please, don’t try to imagine it.
A lot of the kids who have learning differences do not like doing homework. It is like the horror, the horror. But the kids who do not have learning differences go O.K. time to do the homework. They don’t have such a hard time. But for us, it is dang hard. I feel a lot of anger and frustration when I try to do my homework. Sometimes I just want to tear my homework up and flush it down the toilet but then I probably would be grounded for a least a couple days. Never tear up your homework, it is not a good idea. Otherwise your teacher will probably make you redo it at school which I can tell you is not fun.
Doing homework is not fun but try doing it with a pet -a cat, a dog, rat, fish, bunny an animal can understand. If you do not think they can understand you are wrong. They do. They are just like us.
At home I feel like I’m in a box of angels. At school I feel like a box of little devils. My Mom says I could change schools but I really want to stay with my friends. I wish that there was NO homework at all but that is not how our school works. I wish that my teacher taught in a way that I was the one who could understand and the other kids couldn’t. I wish that we had more arts and crafts and games; only fun things. I really like my teacher, it’s not his fault. I just learn differently.
And quotes from adult’s with learning differences, responding to Ciela’s challenges:
Anyway, I felt about school the same way you do when I was your age, and it wasn’t pretty. I so feel your pain and so remember what you are going though. When I read your words I hear your frustration and I’m right there with you. It is hell, and I am so sorry the school systems still don’t recognize there must be alternative ways to learn for kids that just find it so difficult to function in that crazy environment they call school.
You are so far ahead of me. When I was your age I could write a sentence. I couldn’t read well, I couldn’t spell anything, and when I was at school I couldn’t think most of the time. I felt as though I wasn’t even there. Like there was a veil between me, and me at school, and I just couldn’t hear anything without it feeling as though it was coming down a long dark hallway.
My brother Lee had what they called Dyslexia. He couldn’t read like the other kids, and fell behind in school. At play and in the neighborhood, he was just like everyone else. But at school, he was lonely and frustrated. He thought he was different and less intelligent than the other kids. My mother, who was very smart and good at school herself, took him to special reading classes, and it helped, but he continued to struggle. He was one of the nicest kids you ever met, but he wasn’t very good at school.