if I defend myself, I am attacked

Yesterday I was in a group that’s been one of the most provoking yet revealing/ Illuminating experiences in a long time. I’m often with a person that seems deeply triggered by me or used to be and with whom I have felt uneasy. I said something and she seem to have a rather powerful reaction to it. Here’s what’s fascinating to me. I immediately felt this sense of deep threat at the back of my neck. It felt as though I were being attacked as if my very life depended on defending myself. It felt as though if I didn’t defend myself I would be annihilated. The nervous system was jumping wildly and everything in the body was screaming defend defend defend. It was extremely visceral and that sense of threat was located at the back of the neck almost as though an animal was about to grab my neck and tear me to pieces.

Having just committed to staying present and going wide with energy when this happens, to do my best to go beyond the trigger and the reaction, I was able to stay seated. I was able to stay present to the sensations roaring through me.

Lo and behold, The energy shifted. This person has been deeply triggered by me and yet now we came to a rapport a mutual understanding. I have a degree in spiritual psychology and one of the major tenants was not to judge, that judgment was of the ego and created separation. This person is trained in a different tradition, to bring forward transparently anything that comes up. Before I was certain I was right and had the better way. Now I got curious and realized I have no clue for anyone but me and even then it’s a bit wobbly sometimes. Bottom line, I finally felt at peace with this person. Tears are at the back of my eyes as I say this and energy moving through the belly powerfully.

Part of the reason I chose to write about this is I had a client yesterday where the energy was centered at the exact same place on the back of the neck and literally took her to laying down. I heard something about a new chakra opening at some point Alta major or something like that I have no clue but if anybody knows anything would love to hear. Bottom line: seems to me some really primal stuff is on the move.

I have no idea if this is true or not but I was given the image that in a former life this person had been responsible for burning me at the stake. I have no clue if that’s true but at times it’s felt like that. I have no clue whether we actually are clearing past lives or not. Really doesn’t matter. It’s all grist for the mill. We’ve all been Saints and sinners. I’ll say this. It ain’t dull.

The image doesn’t quite fit the post but closest I can come. I do love the eyes of the witch.

Lesson 135 was given to me I believe it was 1997 as the theme for this lifetime.

Can you imagine what the world will be like when this is the lived experience of every human being? If we defend ourselves we are attacked. Who is it that we’re defending? What is it that we’re defending? Coming to know who I am beyond the level of thought, Beyond the level of emotion, the great game changer.