On terror:
So many people that I encounter are really struggling. And a few seem to be doing fabulous. What I’m noticing is that many people seem to be confronted with their deepest challenge or core limitation/conditioning. Not so fun.
Yesterday my friend Ann helped me see what was going on during an immense trigger some weeks ago. I couldn’t understand why I was so terrified, frozen, unable to think or act. It took hours to calm down. A question Ann asked me helped me realize it had triggering me back into my deepest fear/terror from childhood. It seems I’m not alone in being confronted with such intensity.
Where it’s more fun to share the joy and I could tell you amazing things about this life, this is the area that seems very alive for many now.  The live affirming posts are more fun for me and very important to me. Yet I was guided this morning to share this.
My friend Matt has introduced me to something called open focus. Just the thought of going into that old childhood dynamic was pretty frightening. But he had just posted an open focus Way to be with pain and I figured why not try with emotional pain. The minute I opened to the pain I started sobbing. It is unable to be located in time or space as it feels pervasive. Yet staying with the process by the end it had dissolved almost completely.
What I’m witnessing with clients and myself and others is how that level of terror creates a trance state of deep separation. It’s almost as though we forget everything we ever knew about freedom joy happiness anything other than the fear. The trance can be so deep that it’s hard to wake up out of. In case this is you, I recommend giving this open focus a looksee. While the cellular memory release that I learned 18 years ago has served me amazingly, there’s still some level of identification. In other words I as a person I’m having this pain which I am willing to dive into and fully allow. What I noticed doing another open focus meditation earlier is that the sense of i, the sense of being a body, diffuses.
Initially when Matt shared this process with me I didn’t get anything from it until I did a particular meditation. And then the sense of simply being space was so significant I couldn’t ignore it. Sharing here in case it’s of service to anyone experiencing fear or any other type of pain.
Yesterday the publisher of ACOL shared with me a couple of pages from his newest publication. It’s talking about how wholeheartedness is landing on the Planet in a very new and embodied way. It suggested a timeline. He let me read a couple of pages from the book with the timeline. Basically it’s saying by 2033 all people will be experiencing this more open hearted wholehearted way of being. I celebrate. This is my greatest vision.
