Tripping out on beauty. A zillion flowers with so many details, the crystal prism shimmering in the morning light. How much I used to miss when I wasn’t present.
The second time in my life I ever meditated was at a 10 day silent retreat on an island in Thailand. The first long meditation was before dawn and was said to be an hour. Yet I was convinced that I was in a time warp and that it actually been many hours. The gecko moving on the wall was the only thing that convinced me that time had not stopped.
Yet I still remember decades later the sun glistening on the spiderweb during the walking meditation. I remember being mesmerized by the morning dew on the web. I remember being entranced by checking to see where the spider had moved in the afternoon shade. I was present.
When we moved here 13 1/2 years ago and my then husband would bring a bouquet of spring flowers. I literally didn’t notice the bouquet or how they cover this property in a blanket of such exquisite magic. Even when he would bring me bouquets, I would be focused on what I didn’t want, what I didn’t like. I missed so very much. So very grateful today to miss less.
Yesterday afternoon there was such a feeling of joy. It had been an ordinary day. Yes some things that I enjoyed had happened: a bone crushing hug from a beloved friend, some assistance on what I thought would be a challenging task but turned out to be quite easy from another friend, finding a gorgeous silk shirt I love at the consignment store. But it wasn’t enough to explain the joy. It felt like my remembered college experiences of MDA or ecstasy. It felt like freedom. Anybody else?
