Death and rebirth: I took a very in-depth test to discover one of my my primary communication patterns is as a storyteller. Something that happened reminded me of this story. It was the night I felt so dead I couldn’t convince myself that I had a reason to go on. It was a freezing January night and I was sitting on my deck. My daughter was probably nine or 10 and that used to be The reason for me to go on but in that moment as the grip of codependency and its demise was crushing me, even that wasn’t enough. Both my then husband and daughter asked me to come in and I simply couldn’t. I had decided I was going to sit there until I could find one Genuine reason that I truly desired to go on. The combination of feeling I was too sensitive for the density of this planet and the demise of my 23 1/2 year relationship combined with intense anxiety was annihilating .
I sat there for hours. And then my daughter came out with a hot cup of tea and just handed it to me. She didn’t cry or asked me to come in again. She simply handed me the cup of tea. That loving act woke me up out of what felt like a dead state. That turned out to be a turning point in my awakening and returning to the remembrance of joy. It is my great wish that everyone remember how truly beloved that they are.
I just wrote that and then I realized today is good Friday. I find that amazing. I had no awareness when I wrote the post. In my life I had to go to a place of what felt like my spirit being extinguished before I could rise again. Certainly fits the theme of this three day passage.
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