A shout out to being human

The first half of my life I tried everything to find satisfaction externally. Went around the world twice, tried paragliding scuba diving fancy restaurants A number of men etc. It didn’t fill the longing.

So a bit over half a lifetime ago I started pursuing spirituality. I got a masters in spiritual and counseling psychology with an emphasis on consciousness health and healing. I did tons of workshops and got certifications. I did 10 day Vipasana retreats. And I found more peace than I’ve ever known slowly but surely. I lost a lot of the things that had been giving me human pleasure. And a part of me pulled away from being human. So much so that when a friend told me about a very Difficult experience her family was having, I told her to look for the spiritual benefits. I can now recognize what a bitch I was being without judgment.

I know so many people who use spirituality as an escape route. I’m taking a meditation course called Luminous  awareness. In it she says it’s not uncommon for people to get to the third level of consciousness and park themselves there. They’re on top of the mountain and they don’t want to come down and face all the primal pain and grief. Can’t say I blame them. But for me it didn’t work.

So now it seems I’ve gone full circle. Now I’m back to enjoying my beautiful broken Klimt cup, my wondrous PJs from Linz of Salzburg, my thick and soft bathrobe. A hot smoking cup of coffee, the sun on my hair, the birds tweeting in the background. Laying on my rock friends in the hot sun, hugging my tree friends. Later I’m going to go to some of the key trees on this property and thank them for staying upright when so many head trees coming down Creating extensive damage and power outages.

I recently heard of women talk about how difficult it is to be here on earth remembering where she’s from and how different it is. Believe me I get it. And yes meeting a soul heart sister yesterday who understood immediately when I talked about energy circuits closing them creating a field of energy that can blast me into another level of bliss, yes I am super grateful for those experiences. I thank my lucky stars that I can access them. But I won’t use them anymore to deny the human experience.



Yesterday I was in town again for the first time in 11 days. The snow is piled up in huge mounds. So grateful to have a hot shower and be able to swim again. Have casual conversations with people in the sauna about interesting topics.

I had some snow refugees for a number of days. The day they left I was able to prepare a three-course meal and put out nice dishes. I felt so grateful to have the energy to be able to do that. There’s energy moving in my belly as I tell you this, tears in my throat.

It was probably almost 20 years ago that I had an incense made called joyful for no reason on earth. It seemed like a pipe dream. In the Now it’s a reality. To be able to celebrate the ordinary. Now that for me is a true miracle.