I woke up this morning with some powerful insights. It’s actually easier for me to write it down here it somehow goes in deeper. There’s always the hope it may support another.
Yesterday I was I was facilitating a circle where someone was in a tremendous amount of pain she was sharing. What was truly remarkable was I felt a great sense of expansion and gratitude that she was sharing it. It was only afterwards that I realized maybe only this morning that the expansion came because I didn’t feel like I needed to do anything. I had told my consciousness to go fetch on this just the other day in some ways and in other ways a long time ago. And yesterday I saw it had fully fully fully landed. By being present, there was no suffering in me to listen nor did I feel the need to do anything other than be fully fully there.
The other Awareness is that I’ve been so delighted that lately when several people are telling me more than once that they’re judging me, that I stay neutral. I don’t feel hurt and I don’t take it personally in these two instances. But yet what I realized this morning happens is I do move into separation. I do not feel connected to the people who are telling me they’re judging me. Play in progress. I trust absolutely that at some point Even this will not move me out of Unity.
When other things coming in but it’s been coming in for a long time. The need to be radically honest and authentic. I just went to the person that was telling me he was judging me and told him that while it didn’t create a reaction in the nervous system, it did create a feeling of disconnection.
Later:
12 years ago today was one of the most difficult days of my life as I had surrendered the night before Now I could face the fact, I Knew my marriage had to end. It brought untold grief and terror. We’ve been together 23 1/2 years. What’s occurring to me now is for this future self to send back love and compassion to myself of that moment. I have a knowing that this will support the me of 12 years ago. I have such incredible compassion for her.
 later: I can’t wait to meet myself 12 years from now. I feel how radically free and joyful she is. I send her my love and no I am receiving her love in the now.
