I remember reading a book called something like happy for no reason. And what I’ve discovered is of course this is the only lasting joy. A friend of mine said that if she could summarize her whole journey in a few words it would be about loss. Makes sense to me. I keep losing all the parts of myself that aren’t the real me.
Feeling a contentment and inner Joy even though nothing in my outer circumstances has changed. In fact a lot of my usual Joy activities are not available. Only a couple of days in the last month where I could be outside in the sun and in nature, currently fasting and no sugar, spending a tremendous amount of time in silence and solitude and yet there is this almost continuous sense of contentment. Yesterday the joy was so intense I thought I might levitate. Just saying in my experience we’ve had this all backwards where the joy resides, the bliss. Turns out in my direct experience it all resides within. Knowing who we truly are.
Never felt more myself, more natural, more organic. Even in groups noticing that several times now I’ve been 100% myself without one step from conditioning, separation, trauma or drama. Not taking other people’s experience personally has been a definite show stopper. Got the feeling this is what’s in store for all of us who choose to look within.
Oh and as an afterthought yesterday my body was burning several times sweating so heavily and energy so intense. Yet I called that liberation and so it did not diminish the contentment. A friend was saying how she was in heaven one day and then back in hell. This used to be the thing that threw me off so much. How could I know so completely and then seemingly forget? I’ll take the contentment for now. And let the future take care of itself.
