This experience was so unique I was gonna give it a pass to share it. But then I realized when others acknowledge they’re having a similar experience, somehow it supports me in feeling both less alone and more certain to allow what is arising. The last few days were quite a doozy. On Tuesday there was so much overwhelm arising that I felt incapable of thought or choice. I was guided from that point on to stop all external intake which included not answering a friend who had sent me an urgent request for support. The last time a beloved sent me an urgent request for support and I did not feel to answer immediately, I went into huge guilt. Now for the most part it felt neutral. I was aware that the most self loving thing I could do was give all my attention to myself and what was going on. The next day I was guided to be completely still and do absolutely nothing. I simply laid in my hammock in a unique state of consciousness. I was aware of what was going on around me but there was a buzzing in the field. I had no clue what was going on or how I would function later to see a client in session at my home office. Most of my clients are out of state or country so I had not had a client at the house in over a year. My other local client I see on the land when I see her.
Interestingly a client I had earlier in the day asked to change times which was perfect. So I had many hours to simply stay in this state of non-doing, nonbeing, non-thinking, nowhere nothing no one. That’s the best I can describe it. I had this thought that I wouldn’t return from the state in time to do the session. I set an alarm so that I would have plenty of time to come back to this one I know as Savannah who is capable of doing the session. A big surprise an hour (not, I knew I could trust) before the session whatever was happening began to wind down. The client agreed to do the session outside which always support me to both hear and see nature surrounding us. Of course, the session went very well.
I’m not sure I would’ve had the courage to stay in that state of non-being if someone I deeply respect had not reached out to me and shared she was having a similar experience. This is someone I have not had much contact with someone from another country. Yet hearing her voice on messenger was the exact medicine I needed to have the courage to stay with exactly what was arising despite how unfamiliar it was. I feel energy moving through my belly and heart to see how intimately I am supported, we are supported. Sharing here in case now or at some point these words will make whatever you’re experiencing feel more capable of being held within. Blessings to us all in these interesting times.
