Haven’t even done my morning practice yet but I was guided to write this. just starting to write this and there’s such energy in the heart. There’s one word that’s beating beating beating within. Innocence.
Tears are coming as I write this. Yesterday an awareness that has been creeping up on me came in full blast. I have Created dynamics that have kept me limited and not claiming my power. I’m gonna take a moment to just sit with what’s happening in the body as the tears flow. Wow that literally took about a minute to let that huge wave of energy passed through. Coming into a more full recognition of how certain habits I have kept me limited in my power left me a bit stunned. Yet I woke up this morning with a flu(Voice activation added that and I’ve decided to keep it, flu equals frequency light upgrade) full-blown intention to see my own innocence. In the past I would’ve immediately started to try to fix and change what I saw, correct myself, possibly even shame myself. No effing way. Instead I fully claim my own innocence.
I woke up to some beautiful comments from my European friends letting me know that this is a pattern arising in the collective. You better believe that so much of our conditioning has kept us spinning in our own trauma. Why in gods name would I blame myself for that, would anybody blame themselves for that? I actually came in with the intention to write something else but I think I’ll do that in a separate post. The one thing I want to say out loud to my beloved self, this form name Savannah who has carried me with such grace and faithful intent, I love you I love you I love you. It is my intention to never again blame or shame you for anything that arises. I commit evermore fully to seeing only your innocence, I trust will get through this I have no clue how, I trust we will all get through this I have no clue how. And luckily I don’t need to.
Later: so I just did my meditation and I was guided to add this. Feels edgy even for me. I know that vulnerability is my superpower and I do claim it in the now. But for some reason this one has me on the edge of my seat. Part of the way that I came into more full recognition of the way I have created circumstances in my life to keep me out of my power was by experiencing a new Facebook friend in his power. I somehow came into connection with him through his sculptures. I’m guessing I saw a post about one of them and somehow we were or became friends. Yesterday I looked more fully into his art and was very impressed with a sense of power I felt emanating from his work. Earlier I’d seen a post about his service work which as best as I can remember he’d been doing for maybe around 36 or 40 years? Again I felt the sense of incredible power. So I was reflecting on the power I felt in his life and then I looked around my house which is again in chaos as I headed out to my hammock to lay down after a trip to town. The contrast between what I was experiencing in the moment and what I felt emanating from his life was powerful. The awareness dropped in more fully of where I was leaking power. How I could feel the power coming from someone I’ve never met before or interacted with I cannot say. Yet in a very real way I’m aware that at the quantum level there’s only one of us. Luckily I don’t need to figure it out.
