Yesterday I made a drive of about 450 miles. The courage this took cannot be named. The previous two days I felt exhausted. Especially the day before I had trouble keeping my eyes opened and the idea that I could drive so far when I don’t particularly enjoy driving at all seemed literally impossible. The mind was going crazy making up stories of how I wouldn’t be able to do it and I had to really focus to allow those stories to pass through. I knew that big energies were coming in and my long term victim story has been that this sensitivity creates debilitation in the body in high energies. To let that story be in the past felt like Mission impossible. And yet I simply had to so i was pressuring myself mercilessly. Luckily my friend intervened and supportive being gentle with the fear that was coming up. I sat with such great compassion for how much was coming. I sat and allowed the fear to move through the body.
I literally can’t believe how effortless the drive was. There was very little traffic the least I’ve seen in a decade and I was able to drive straight through for 3 1/2 hours before just taking a short break. It was actually cool and I was able to walk around unlike the trip down where it was 107° everything went beautifully and I felt strong and powerful. I had focused on creating just this for days on end using my imagination to create an easy trip. Even my imagination wasn’t able to stretch this far because everything was like a walk in the park. Even when I accidentally kicked a Button and a warning light came on. I didn’t freak out even though I had to strategize how to call someone to see if I could drive with the light on if it was critical or not. I looked up the warning light and had to decide what to do. I wondered if I could simply push the button I had accidentally pushed. It felt like I might blow up the car and at first I just nudged it gently. I finally decided to give it a good push and felt like I won the lottery when the warning light went off.
Being in the new for me means I have to let go of all my old conditioning all my old victim stories. In this case it took great pressure for me to be able to let it go. Blessings to each of us as we find our way to the truth of who we really are which is SO powerful.
