I just got off the phone with an old dear friend. “We” guided me to call her and offer her the vastness of love I feel for her. Somehow early on we got talking about how I was passing through some deep fears. She was quiet and we went on to other topics.
Then she said something like I thought you said to only focus on the love, the light. We don’t talk often and honest to heaven no clue what I said yesterday let alone months ago. But it makes sense that she would have seen me as a light chaser. I did my best to explain my process of fully allowing WHATEVER arises in my field, befriending it, being with it. I then shared with her some of my experiences of vastness, a love that is more accepting than ever, all the magical experiences I have been having. Yet my friend said she imagines a lot of people will want to avoid me (they do if I am honest about my experiences.) She imagines just talking about facing fear might be too much for some people.
She said for her it was a three part conversation to get where I am coming from and the incredible miracles/ richness that has arisen for me having the courage to pass through one fear after another. Definitely not for the faint of heart. Many prefer to turn to external authority and let them decide that is or is not safe.
Having heard 15 minutes of news inadvertently while sitting in A/C yesterday to get out of the heat I was truly blown away to hear one thing to be afraid of after another with no let up. I had not heard news in maybe over 25 years and had no clue about it. I am so glad I was guided to discover a way to access my own Eternal nature which gives me the inner space to face most fear. And when the fear feels too huge to face alone, another appears to hold my hand through the dark. Yesterday that was my friend John who literally reached out to hold my hand as I cried as I recounted the latest fear adventure. Just that touch shifted so much within. Being so touch deprived has ben such a great loss. How wondrous to have friends to touch within and without.
The deeper I face my own inner demons, the more space i have to be with and love it all, no matter what. This is my greatest joy and liberation. I feel so much inner spaciousness often. I feel more authentic and real than I ever have, I laugh often and LOUD. And no wonder others prefer to keep fear at bay as long as they can, it is quite the ride. I did my best to convey to her the magic and Mysteries I have discovered on the other side of fear, on the side of the Eternal. Now my intent is to rest in the Eternal unless something arises that needs to be welcomed into the guest house. Believe me the guest house has been crowded lately as one trigger follows another. But ah the incredible scrumptiousness of becoming ever more fully into the Remembrance of Who I am; now for me an experience worth any price.
