Written last year when I gave up being sanctimonious:
Ok Cuties, in the last 22 hours I ate a bunch of crap and only touched a single veggie, drank a glass of wine, ate some sweets and bought some more, hacked my way through a half a cigarette and then fell into a huge laughing fit. Through it all I have not taken it too seriously, enjoyed the attempts to shift how i feel through old addictions that now seem amusing, refused to take this seriously, slept with 1/4 of an over-the-counter sleeping pill, channeled inner Source for my Wild Hearts group, voice recorded my laughing fit, tried to post it here and failed and am now writing this. I also read an article about the number of people experiencing PTSD and the suicide rate for 4 weeks = that of a typical year. So I could say it is no laughing matter yet I am called to one primarily focus, discovering how to enjoy the whole bloody mess. I was given information that feels like it is life or death to understand and I simply have no clue what to do with it other than embrace the clueless one in Love. Joy feels like a revolutionary act and I have always enjoyed being a rebel. So I hereby announce the rebel joy society. All are welcome. If you want in, you are in. “If the apocalypse is coming us await it with joy.” Erika Jung- or I think that is her name and I don’t feel like looking it up. Oh yeah and also tired of being the sanctimonious one that used to be holier than thou. Enjoying more the ass kicking cigarette smoking one
