This week my daughter will be 20 1/2 and I am finally REALLY starting to get it, yea! One of the hardest ones for me to both get at the level of heart and embody.
Your children’s path is their own to walk, not yours. And no matter how hard you try you cannot go there. If you choose to tie your happiness to your children’s behaviour you are destined for continuous disappointment. It has not been easy for any of us to really get this, that loving unconditionally means giving up emotional attachment to another. Giving up completely the idea that in any way your own happiness is dependent on anyone else’s.
Until the child is 7 years old its aura is normally partially “bound” to that of their mother. The Love bond nurtures and the emotional bodies are highly “reactive” to each other.
When you make your identity dependent on another you give away your Chi (Lifeforce) to the other and in your own neediness take the Chi of the other. It is especially to the forefront with our young children.
This does not mean you cut yourself off emotionally. It actually means you become more aware and connected when you are far more in tune with yourself and the needs of the moment.
Your children are not your children. They belong to life and are their own sovereign beings. And when you stop playing the painful game of “Rescue” they might have less to contend with, one thing of which is their resentment of your interference.
Hold your vision and knowing of who they truly are (remember they came from God and you saw that clearly in their eyes when they were very young) and let them go in your own mind and emotions. Love them as totally as you have always done but set them free.
This is not being uncaring for you know that you are not. Make peace with your own childhood and nurture more the childlike qualities that reside within yourself, eg. play more in your daily life..
And who is the expert?
There is no “perfect” parent.
Each of us does our best and our children are our best teachers. They are actually, perhaps unknowingly, confronting you with reflections about how you can take your own freedom and joy further.
Happiness is a choice. If you can choose your own happiness first then you lay the best foundation for your children, because you will be presenting an “open door” that they will remember always and where they can step into their own happiness whenever they so choose.
Shine On
I So Love You