Beloveds,
Perhaps one of the biggest mistake I made and I witness in others is blaming and judging ourselves for any perceived ”faults,” challenges, pain, illness, loss. Nothing could be further from the Truth. Yet when one is seemingly plagued by endless obstacles despite years of effort, attention, therapy, workshops, trainings, yoga, good nutrition and so on, it is very challenging to keep the faith and to not blame oneself for being a spiritual throwback, the one kid in the class that just could not get it. I know I punished myself for years for being in pain, for my own suffering! Now how ridiculous is that! Yet I hear this repeatedly and certainly bashed myself over the head with this one. Here is the Truth. You are alive on a planet that is undergoing a literally species transformation, where the actual frequency of the planet is shifting to 528 megahertz, the frequency of unconditional Love. That is like trying to use something designed for 120 volts in a plug that takes 240 volts. We are gradually being brought up to the higher frequency as gently as we can without blowing our circuits. That planetary shift is affecting everyone on the earth in one way or another. The huge number of solar flares last month and in October raised the intensity even more with accompanying side effects.
Many of us are experiencing profound fatigue, aches and pains, bizarre, inexplicable symptoms, the sense the bottom is dropping out from under, loss, terror, panic, anxiety, flu like symptoms etc. This is a planetary phenomena where everything that does not vibrate at the frequency of love is being brought to the surface for clearing. This is occurring with such intensity according to an intricate plan and so the ego does not have a chance to regroup. To blame oneself for this is to condemn oneself merely for being alive at this epic time in history rather then recognizing this is just what is up on planet earth.
Now I know that to be wading these treacherous waters sometimes for decades is almost unbearable, yet we are bearing it. Perhaps the two greatest tools to minimize suffering is first to maintain a faith that all is well, despite what may appear to be occurring, that seems to be an unmitigated disaster. I know this takes tremendous courage and fortitude and I would not ask it of you except I have seen through my own experience how much grace it lends to the journey, how much suffering it diminishes.
Second, and for me the piece de resistance on this journey Home to ourSelves, is the ability to love ourselves, regardless of external or internal conditions. It certainly sounds easy enough, doesn’t it? Yet for me this adventure spanned two decades, while I obtained a Master’s in Psychology, did endless trainings, a bit of therapy, many workshops and years and years of attention to the seemingly endless obstacles thrown in my path. I just read something I wrote over a decade ago and I cry for the woman I was and for the challenge of the journey. Yet arrival is so exquisite and tender, it is worth the price of admission. If you have been reading my old blog, you have seen me write this repeatedly. Each taste was enough to keep me slogging through the mud. Yet what has arisen internally for me since the new moon has been such a quiet joy, an all knowing sense of arrival, a millennium long yearning met, it cannot be spoken. I can say it is not the ecstatic bliss I anticipate yet such a longed for fulfillment, really nothing compares. And yes, it slipped away again after maybe 10 glorious days of such peace and joy, such a feeling of internal and external safety, such relaxation in my body. Now I am again experiencing some mild challenges, one major punch to the gut and minor irritants yet all of it is so muted and held by the container of the Love I know I am even though in this moment I am not fully in touch with it. My faith is unshakeable after so many taste and now a full banquet of my own essence. May my words help carry you through troubles waters. May you choose to love the parts of yourself that are frightened, feeling inadequate, lost, alone, May my words serve as a beacon beckoning you on, one step at a time. My strong sense is those of you entering the whirlpool of this awakening will pass through it much more quickly with the love, support and energetic lifting of those who have gone before, whose numbers increase daily. Know that truly all is well. Know you are loving, lovable and loved.
Thank you once again for the reminder! Brought me nearly to tears. This dark season brings up a lot of stuff that is unpleasant to deal with, it seems. Esp. the last few days. But maybe the full moon will lighten/brighten things for all of us. Meanwhile, I think I’ll light a candle.
Big hug……
I love to light candles this time of year. Thanks for sharing your response to my words, that touches me. These are very intense times where the roto rooter is on overdrive. Be gentle, know how precious you are. Yes, all that is unpleasant, rotten, not whole is designed to be brought to the surface to be cleansed. I found it so difficult to trust the process and one of the greatest gift I have received is to now actually KNOW all is well.