On power and powerlessness:
I am reading many are feeling powerless in the wake of the frequent power outages. I certainly have had to let a lot of resistance and upset pass through me as I allowed all sensations of triggers to pass through this form. For me this is the royal road to freedom.
Three times I got caught, three times I chose again finding radical new behaviors to shift the energy, including laying naked in the hot sun on rocks. It is so easy to be swept away in the chaos and yes, this one “accomplished” little externally but a ton internally. Yesterday after the power came on and I had let out a spontaneous whoop of joy I quickly saw my internet was out and my land line phone plus all internet, including on my cellphone. I seemingly was complete cut off except to be able to call on my cell. I quickly moved back into upset not alleviated by over an hour calling AT&T. I kept being forced to talk to the section for cell phones despite calling the number for landlines. When I said I had dialed the right number they kept saying but you dialed on your cell so it forces you to the cell phone department! I started to get very frustrated before I remembered the intent I had already set for this experience, to be calm and feel empowered. It took about 20 minutes of upset before I caught the game of separation playing out. I remember one of my fav ACIM lessons, one problem one solution. The problem is ALWAYS in all ways separation and the solution is to know it never happened. SO I let myself feel the incredible tension in this spine, the tightness in the skull, the rapid heart beat. I remained respectful and calm despite lots of time on hold and being sent to wrong departments repeatedly and having to call so many separate departments for the various problems. I was first told I did not have to be home when they came to service the phone, no I did, no I didn’t etc. All involving various calls.
I remembered how I had looped with a problem with Blue Shield for months before I made an irrevocable decision to stop feeling disempowered and letting their seeming inefficiency trigger me. Once i chose again, the problem was quickly resolved after months and countless hours of calls. So I was not going to fall into that trap again. I finally got someone who really helped me and said, not I do not have to stay home all day while they come to check the phone. I went for a walk and calmed down and kept intending to find my power in the situation. I came home and danced wildly on my deck to shift the energy of heaviness. I was determined to reclaim my inner power. I finally felt exhilarated that I would not be crushed by these circumstances. I had been told the internet would be down for at least 8 days and was thinking of creative solutions to how to run my online group. I assumed their prediction would prove untrue yet had a backup plan. I had zero way to reach anyone yet power was restored 30 minutes before i had a phone client. Until that time I had zero access with the outside world.
What I am real eyes-ing is there truly is no outside world, it is all my own creation. Once I reclaimed my power, saw how i had done it to myself, within a few hours, without anyone coming to the house, my power, phone and internet were restored! I had “fixed” the problem within, no longer seeing myself as a victim without power, reclaimed my inner knowing and viola! problem solved. In coming times I sense it will be increasingly vital we KNOW Who we are and not buy whatever program of the old we are being sold. When we immediately Trust a new way will be shown, it seems it is always revealed!
