Projection is a favorite tool of ego to seemingly get rid of guilt. Yet man oh man how that trance state just clobbers us. When I was unconscious, I could project gleefully. Now the feeling of separation knocks me on my ass. Yesterday the trance state of projection had me heavily identified and I found it initially impossible to pull out despite the awareness I was in! Was so uncomfortable with accompanying suffering and unease. I tried my best to let it pass through yet all these grievances played out in mind and would not shut up! Tried to love it all, welcome it all yet felt like mission impossible. Nothing I read, mediated, allowed, forgave seemed to make a dent. So had to pull out the last big tool, surrender and let it be what it was, accepting the ISNESS. So uncomfortable. So hard NOT to actually believe the bullshit the mind was producing and definitely felt the grief o the ensuing separation. It lasted for many hours which is now rare. Sweet relief when I could own the projections, see what they were revealing and see the overlays from the past that were trying to masquerade as being present in the now. Just detailing this a bit in case anyone else has the seeming misfortune to get caught in this particular form of crap. Luckily I was not 100% identified with the illusion but was shocking to witness how I simply could not pull out. Two beloveds assured me nothing was wrong while in the midst of hell which definitely was supportive. What a ride!
