t was exactly 10 years ago today that I dropped down the rabbit hole into the deepest depths of the ego’s bunker. I was in the Denver airport, prowling the corridors like a wild animal, unable to contain the grief and rage playing out. It has been quite a journey since then, one many of my closest friends have found themselves on, the journey of reclaiming our true Identities and becoming creators of our Joy. To be honest it has been a rather brutal and messy ride and truly it is only in the last months that I began to experience more continuous joy and freedom. Yesterday i wrote I no longer suffer because while intense energies still pummel this one basically on an every other day basis, the liberation, freedom, clarity, awareness, joy on the other side makes it so worthwhile that suffering is no longer attached. Yet today for maybe two hours such confusion arose that I was again identified with it with commensurate suffering. Now on my deck the breeze is blowing away the identification so that there is enough spaciousness to welcome the rampant confusion, allow it to rest and be comforted. Still no clue what to do with some very unruly energies simply grateful the identification has dropped away and I can again enjoy the balloon spinning above my head. My dear friend reminded me to play well, to choose from joy. For some hours that looked impossible. In the now, maybe. I offer my deepest gratitude to this courageous one called savannah who has been willing to take this wild ride where ever she finds herself and climb out of victim, co-dependency, powerlessness, separation, terror and begin to claim this joy of being. Today not so much and that is ok too. Some days joy looks like inviting confusion in for tea, clueless what else to do. I am so thankful that this chick named savannah has been so courageous in always living, as best as she knows how, from her wild heart.
