I simply have to make Tiina my earth angel again. She lovingly and gently pointed out to me that I was getting lost in spiritual lala land, letting my heart get wallpapered over with spiritual platitudes while it was crying out in pain. She helped me see I was ditching my humanity for my divinity, a mistake I see over and over, especially amongst Course students. Just like in the name of religion, so much violence has been done, usually to ourselves, in the name of spirituality or the new cage. I had allowed my feelings in a relationship to be suppressed in order to be a spiritual adept or some such bullshit! When I truly saw it, it released a rage and terror that felt difficult to contain. The last time I felt like this nine years ago it blew me out of the house in the night in winter into a huge storm. This time it had me pacing the floor like a wild animal and making primitive grunting noises. This is how we allow the energy to pass through us rather then it becoming stuck and eventually manifesting as dis-ease. Yet after I let it have its way with me, I ended up laughing so hard I fell out of my chair twice!I didn’t even know such laughter was possible, it probably went on for about five minutes. Tiina is one of the wisest, most awake, compassionate, grounded loving person I have ever had the privilege of knowing. Her Presence in my life is one of this life’s greatest blessings.
