While I was in the Denver airport just last week, I was previously there on October 22, 2009 when my life changed radically. I began a descent into the underworld of the ego in a radical and abrupt way. A series of unanswered calls had alerted me that my 22 year relationship/ marriage was beginning to crumbled. This triggered massive co-dependency and the feeling I might truly not survive the terror that was arising. Truthfully, who I was did not survive and a stronger, more confident, connected, alive woman emerged. So it was interesting to return noticing another limitation was on the front burner, the nervous system I have identified with all my life as too sensitive. I was told that repeatedly and for a long time I believed there was something wrong with me. Eventually I shifted it to a positive yet over the last years it has felt increasingly constrictive, corralling me into an ever smaller life. So when the nervous system was firing on all cylinders, so much so that I wondered how I could drag myself through all the stimulation of airport travel, I saw it was time for another radical shift. I was still feeling sorry for myself, a victim of this nervous system that seems to run me. Mind you I was on my way to a retreat on the atonement which is about knowing there is only one True power in our lives. I feel regret that many are and will be turned of by the word God. The word Jesus is a word that also turns so many off. Immediately after posting the word Jesus on my timeline, a follower dropped away. Coincidence? Hey, I can’t blame anybody as for me Jesus was a trigger word for so long and still is to some degree knowing how it turns so many off. But to continue, as I looked out at the vast landscape below my plane window I was viscerally aware of how I was allowing this nervous system masquerading as me to continue to shut down areas of my life, stop me from living fully, always nagging me with whether or not a situation would be over stimulating, having me limit my choices. I know I am not alone in this as many “light-workers” can identify. It is only recently that I believed it could be possible to shift this. Seeing those red cliffs, so much beauty below the plane made me commit to finding a way. Nine years ago I had to release the drama of co-dependency and trust me, it was a climb. Now, with the help of the Divine, I am committing to the next level of freedom, from a false believe in a nervous system that can limit me. I now see it is all part of the ego thought system to keep me small, not claim my power. Some women at the retreat called me powerful, something that previously I could not own as the memories of how broken I felt for so long overshadowed my emerging sense of power. No more, I am ready to have the Denver airport be the demarcation line where I now claim my full infinite power. Who wants to come along? Because the other vital experience I had in Denver was realizing how much easier this journey is when we join with mighty companions in the bond of holy relationship. Then we are invincible indeed.
