It is over three years ago that I finally fell in love with myself yet residual self-judgement still lingered. In particular, I subtly blamed myself for two areas of my life not budging, keeping me locked in a feeling of limitation. Then a year and a half I made a deep commitment to absolute trust and deep gratitude. Despite having a gratitude practice for decades, the truth is the gratitude was more a mental experience. Somehow I managed to finally see my life with new eyes and true, profound appreciation. I also made the decision to trust, regardless of what my eyes showed me.
I wish I could tell you the heavens opened and rained me with blessings. On one level that is true as my inner state changed radically and resulted in ever deeper peace. Yet outer circumstances remained stubbornly “stuck.”Since one of the areas impacts survival issues, it was not easy to rest in trust yet I did and do. Lo and behold, just this last week there are definite shifts in outer appearances. The challenge was to stay out of judgment and self-blame while things seemed stagnant. While one part of me was sure I was caught in a “time-lock,” a soul intent in progress with a group of soul partners committed to shifting limitations on a planetary level, another part of me still wanted to blame/ shame me. It was a process to let that go. I now know my intuition was accurate and the limitations I have been stuck in were ones many were locked into until Divine right timing opened the door. May we all let go of self-judgment, trusting our hearts and souls have the reins.
remembering the joy of being
