I want to share with you a miraculous day, a day where I got to witness how radically I have been transformed internally. Externally while things are definitely beginning to shift, my biggest previous area of concern has not moved much. It appears as though currently the situation is worse yet my trust remains unwavering.I committed to Trust 100% almost a year ago and now I feel it deeply integrated in my being. So as a taste of what this looks like here is what happened yesterday.
We had planned to drive to Chico which is about an hour and forty-five minutes away. First it was clear it would rain, should we go? It was school vacation and we decided to go anyway but not ideal and would have bothered me before that it was raining on THIS day after months of drought; couldn’t it wait a day?
Then about 45 minutes from home we stopped at a farm stand and I discovered I had forgotten my purse. Now in the past I would have flipped out! I would have shouted and cursed a bit. In this case we hunted around the car for money to see if we’d have enough for the farm stand. Turns out my daughter had $48 and we coughed up $30 more hidden in my various hidey holes for just such an occasion. First I thought we’d just shop and then go home but I REALLY wanted to go to a Thai restaurant in Chico along with all our other stops and chores there. Feeling very daring, I decided to go since we had more then enough for lunch and a coffee and the candy shop for my daughter. Feeling jazzed we went on, skipping the farm store to save our pennies. Half way there I started remembering my American Express card number. It took a few tries attempted over a half an hour until I thought I had it and then called AM EX to see if we could swing our major shopping need, Trader Joe’s. They explained it was up to the store and reassured me I had the right number and expiration date. So we went on and got everything done before the rain hit hard, including a walk in the gorgeous park there. So off to the Thai place. We get there and my daughter says it is closed. I say no way, we’d left early to be back by dark, they have to still be serving lunch. Then she says, no, permanently closed! My favorite Thai we’d just driven almost 2 hours for!!!!! WHAT!?@?@#$@#%#$%%$&%^& Yes, I had a moment, I believe a little shout did escape my lips in an unpleasant tone which I heard and then course corrected. I took a DEEP breath and asked for another This place. Thank God she had a smart phone. She says there all closed already. What!?! But we find one and zip over to discover despite saying it is open it is closed. Now in the past I would have been anxious, angry and overwhelmed but I said find another place. She finds one but it is further away. I pull over and call and yes it is open. Success! the amazing thing for me was how clear my mind was, seeing each obstacle (except finding my fav Thai place closed) as something to resolve rather then a reason for upset. I was aware of how miraculous it was that I was taking this all in stride. So we eat and then go to Trader Joe’s. I was 100% convinced we would somehow get our groceries as we only make it to Trader Joe’s about every few months.
So I go straight to the manager and tell him our sad story. He says he needs to talk directly to AM EX so we dial and he hears it is AM EX and then say, if you are willing to go this far I trust you. So we do a huge shop and get to the register. Turns out we need the security code which we do not have and he did not say we need. I chase him down outside in the pouring ran, still not excited or upset as I would have gone crazy in the past; I was still sure it will work. Turns out he trust us 100% to leave without paying and call with info. Over $200 in groceries! I hug the guy, drive home in pouring rain almost 2 hours, get home before dark with the groceries, then more calls as man can not get credit card to run, yet I am calm as a cumber throughout. Just another day where I TRUST! Compare that to much of the last seven years where a loud noise could flip me out and just a few years ago I could not even go into the city or into crowded places. Point being, hang in there loves. If you are dedicated to unraveling your ego and are willing to love yourself and keep diving into what arises in the body, peace is certain and so worth it all. Much love and kisses on the journey Home.
remembering the joy of being
