four phases of awakening from limbo to heaven

ok ok here is the cliff notes as I now see the phases of this awakening game. I know this is way too simplistic but here is what just came to me about my perception of the 3 phases of the journey of awakening which I call hell, purgatory and heaven. There is a pre-phase I’ll call limbo.

So in limbo you start playing with spiritual practices, you have come to understand there is more to life then material reality. You notice when you are judgmental or mean, you are the one is who is suffering. You toy with spiritual practices, read a lot of spiritual books and take a lot of workshops probably with some therapy thrown in.

Then one day a crisis occurs and your health, your career, your marriage or your child is threatened, your anxiety or depression becomes unmanageable or you experience a great loss and suddenly all your platitudes feel meaningless. This is the hell phase. You don’t know top from bottom but are desperate for answers so your level of commitment shoots way up. You become a dedicated seeker and find so many answer, shift in so many ways so you figure you should be done, right? Wrong. Layer after layer of false identity is stripped away and often it hurts either physically or emotionally. Fear may feel absolutely crippling. Sleep may be very sporadic and exhaustion might set in. You experience more trust then you ever have. Your perspective of your life many change as you realize with gratitude how amazing you and your life are. You may experience significant giggle attacks. You begin to desire to give back, to serve out of the fullness of your heart. This goes on wayyyyyyyyy longer then you had ever dreamed, in most cases, but hey you might be the one that pops through. Your primary task here is to survive it and to not blame yourself that it feels so grueling. Nothing you do or say mitigates the intensity for long. Eventually with enough soul seeking and navel gazing, as you are willing to feel in your body what is arising, as you learn to love yourself, as you find ways and means to shift those ole negative and limiting beliefs, as you begin to even consider how all of this might be a gift, you see a light in the tunnel and enter purgatory.

Now you catch a few breaks, not everything is going wrong, the crisis is phasing out, you can take a deep breath. You have more dominion over consciousness and do not perceive everything as going to hell in a hand basket. A few large or small miracles occur as you affirm all is well. You are still on the yo-yo of energy surges but you begin to sleep through the night more often, have less panic attacks and can even feed the dog. A few of your dreams come true, including maybe even the deepest ones. You consider you might actually survive this experience and, better still, you want to survive. You are in the purgatory phase. Now when a big wave of energy hits you, you are wondering what the gift is and what the lesson is, the opportunity to release a sense of limitation or false identity. You have moments of transcendent peace, fleeting moments of joy, heart expanding love that seems to blanket the planet. You are willing to consider this might end, that you might not be too sensitive, too anxious, too defective to get left behind, that in fact you have what it takes, you are what it takes. You catch glimpses of heaven. Maybe your circumstances don’t change much yet you feel deep peace between the waves of transformation. You see the waves as beneficial, as serving you.

Then ultimately duality ends, the false self drops away and you know yourself as abiding Divinity; I am calling this heaven on earth. Can’t say much about this one as I have only caught glimpses but this is my best guess.

For those in the hell phase, I pray you can let go of any self blame, cherish yourself with tenderness, hold on to trust and faith even when there is nothing to hold on to. Beloveds, may we all Remember our true nature that was never lost, know ourselves in our own magnificence. For those feeling lost in hell, know you are not alone, rather you are being carried by legions.