Happy 7/7 Sirian Gateway. This is not one I had paid attention to before yet for me the energies of the last moth evoked dramatic change internally and externally. It is almost a month ago that a life that had become quickly precious to me seemingly hung in the balance. Since then there have been innumerable opportunities to choose the fear channel, some rather convincing. Yet over and over miracles and myserteous answers arose if I could stay focus on Source, on Trust.
Yesterday I did an exercise called walking the eight. I called in two experiences. One of the most challenging experiences for this month has been very little sleep. I called in rest and energy. Last night I slept 10 1/2 hours and feel like a new person. To do so I had to let go of my PROFOUND resistance to the level of exhaustion I was experiencing. The resistance was keeping me locked in the experience. I finally surrendered and did my best to welcome the part of me that was so frightened by the exhaustion and the insomnia and sing it a lullaby. I woke up hours later refreshed.
Over and over I have to let old patterns of thinking and behavior go, believing I can’t. Some have been quite significant. Some required a caring presence beside me to open up further space, or so I believed. Surrendering to Being again and again. Letting go stories of needing to progress toward Being. Opening to awareness of BEing again and again even when the ego mind screamed I would not survive. Yup, so many false parts and limitation have expired. So many new behaviors that are more interdependent have arrived.
Ultimately, of course, there’s only one thing that seemingly keeps me in suffering, the belief in separation, and of course it never happened. It’s one thing to sprout that like a mantra, hoping it lands. It’s another to arrive in a more visceral embodied way. BEing laughs.
