On trusting young adult children

On trusting young adult children:
My daughter keeps making choices that seem less than beneficial to me. I noticed for her sometimes I value safety over wildness. Not in my heart or my soul but the human part of me. Just writing these words I have tears.
When she was younger I would say again and again calm down calm down and then I would say stay wild stay wild. Talk about a mixed message. I see her make choices that are different than I would make. And I recognize I have no clue what it takes for her spirit and soul to stay alive, just stay wild. I notice how those two desires for her to be safe and for her to be wild often conflict.
Actually her choices are quite tame compared to the ones I made. She is 22 and when I was 21 I lived in San Francisco for a quarter of my university time. I was working at a school for schizophrenic children. When our time was up the landlord was supposed to give us back the deposit for the entire flat I shared with two roommates. But he only give us 2/3 of it. So Jerry and I went to Mexico with about a little over $200.
We arrived in Rosalita and I didn’t like it. This was after a 24 hour bus ride. So I told Jerry I was going to hop back on the bus and go to the next town down the coast which involved returning to Tijuana and then going down off the peninsula. By the time all these shenanigans were done we had very little money left. Best as I remember it had to last maybe two weeks. We would argue about sharing a soda because we were so dehydrated but didn’t have money for anything else.
Jerry had to leave ahead of me to get to his interview for law school in Washington DC. So the last days I was literally sleeping on the beach and asking bartenders for water. Travelers had left me a loaf of bread and peanut butter and jelly and that was the extent of my abundance. A Mexican man came by and offered me a ride on his horse which I thought was incredibly marvelous to ride a horse on the beach in Mexico.
As best as I remember I had five dollars left which I needed to save to get from Guaymas to the airport in Tucson. But after one overnight on the beach I met an American real estate agent who offered me my own house with a maid and a key. He took me out for all my meals. I told him ahead of time no monkey business and he kept the agreement until the last night. When I refused his offers, he refused to take me to the bus station so I had to hitchhike. Long story short I ended it back in Chicago with one dime when I returned to the university.
Beloved ciela, I hope you don’t read this even though I’ve told you the story. Stay wild. And if you could stay safe at the same time, I would be so very very grateful.
May be an image of text that says '"They caught all the wild children, and put them in zoos, They made them do sums and wear sensible shoes. They put them to bed at the wrong time of day, And made them sit still when they wanted to play. They scrubbed them with soap and they made them eat peas. They made them behave and say pardon and please. They took all their wisdom and wildness away. That's why there are none in the forests today."'

S

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