This one’s for me to help alchemize some grief that arose supporting a sister in our wild hearts group move through some shadow. Wouldn’t recommend reading it if you’re in a heavy place yourself.
So the part of herself she was making not OK was the need to be right. (she gave me permission to share her experience but prefers to remain anonymous.)When I asked her to go back to a place in childhood where she needed to be right, she remembered being a young child and trying to tell her parents that school wasn’t right for her. No matter how she tried to tell them they couldn’t hear her, and they forced her to go to school. She had the opportunity to alchemize the grief of that experience and sit with how painful that was. She was able to stop rejecting the part of herself that was looking to be right and embrace this young child that was so desperate to be heard. It was so gratifying and adorable to hear her say enthusiastically “I need to be right and I love it” or something like that. She was actually bouncing around as she said it and it was so cute to see particularly in a British person.
What came up for me was grief about how I had to often force my daughter to go to school and how many times we argued about homework. I believed she needed to go to school for her very survival, I believed there could be major negative consequences if she didn’t go to school so I forced her to go. We had a lovely childhood together other than this Yet this was a constant source of conflict. At one point I literally dragged her out of bed physically to get her to go to school. At tutoring she would hide in the trunk.
I finally got to the point where I said all I’m asking you to do is learn how to read and graduate from high school and thank God she complied with those two intentions.

I give myself incredible credit because literally I dragged my husband and daughter across three states for months looking at 33 schools trying to find the best fit. And this was the best fit but still she had the experiences that were traumatic for her given her particular system. I won’t detail it because that’s her private business.
So later when she was in a professional school that was completely paid for but having panic attacks due to the Covid craziness, and she told me she wanted to drop out believe me it gave me pause. I had to sit with it for maybe two months to come to peace but this time I could bless her choice.
What came over me in this process this afternoon was a profound global grief about how many parents and how many teachers and how many students and how many administrators keep forcing our children into situations that don’t fit them, that infect (supposed to say in fact but infect might be better)  traumatize them. I salute all the homeschoolers no schoolers and anyone else trying to find a new way. And then the grief went even deeper.
Previously I never could understand how a Chinese mother could break her daughters foot to bind it so she would be manageable. (I intended to say marriageable but again voice activation had a better choice.) I could not understand how an African Mother could mutilate her daughters genitals (Voice activation chose(gentle tools) to make her manageable/ marriageable. But this afternoon I understood completely because I had done the same thing simply to a lesser degree. I felt such a global grief and I feel it now as I’m writing these words. I’ve always said that will be parents that will say enough. It’s the children who will also say enough. One of my deepest desires is to find an education system that is completely geared to the specific child. I know this is unfolding in the new earth. I literally have a headache as I’m writing these words.
I just bumped into a beautiful neighbor who told me he’s moving to Texas so he has more free choice about what happens to his young daughter in order to be able to attend school.
Our wild hearts group came together in consciousness to affirm and know with power that this is the new destiny. When our children are raised in such a way that they know they’re own inherit beauty and destiny and are supported in developing their own unique goodness, the jig will be up. No wonder the matrix goes to so much trouble to keep the education system factory producing workers. I just speaking in generalizations of course. Now to simply wait for the new to catch up in form.
