Was just in a boundaries workshop and a special guest speaker came in for a few minutes. She basically described my 32 days process and said we can create a new reality by pivoting from an old emotional reaction, neural net to a new experience along the lines of “as within so without.” My 32 day process is working to change a life long pattern of jumping energetically in to a visceral response when I see another suffering. This would reverse a lifelong pattern and it is working. Think I am on day 10 and today it totally worked!!! I was able to stay present, in my heart and not feel any tension in my body. YEA!
Here is the thing. It triggered at least a few people. Just want to throw out my two cents why that may have happened. One person named having just gotten through numbness and they sure as hell don’t want to suppress finally feeling their emotions. Yup, been there done that. Another mentioned the ole forced bypass to make ourselves feel another way then we do, using violence to create another experience. Yup did that one seemingly FOREVER, did the spiritual Nazi, human bypass game as in sit down and shut up you stupid human, quit sniveling and get with the program. For me the only way this works is to be with where we are in the now moment. There is no ahead or behind. Rather there is just our authentic response to the now moment. For me this process is such an art and requires incredible self compassion and self awareness. I used to curse this sensitivity yet now I see it don’t let me get away with nothin’ and that is a good thing.
Darlings, please meet yourself where you are with the most incredible compassion and tenderness you can muster. Many of us are having our darling creatures just hammered. Trust your own inner guidance. You are the world’s foremost authority on you own experience. Above all, I say mercy is always the key, may I have mercy on my own experience and follow my own inner guidance. And if that inner guidance is quiet, may I simply surrender to the not knowing.
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