On creator gods:
So Today my solar system is being put in. This has been over a six-month process of me learning to be sovereign and capable. So many times I doubted myself. Could I understand the 32 page contract? Could I catch any possible error? Could I agree to something I didn’t fully understand? Could I trust the situation and my inner guidance? Over and over anxiety attacks would arrive. And yet I educated myself hour after hour about solar. I spent almost an hour with a representative of PG&E understanding even more. Yeah I had to hold with myself as wave after wave knocked me over. I chose to have tender compassion for that part of myself that feel so inadequate, so young. I finally did not reject it rather embraced it with incredible kindness.
So today when they came to install it and one previously contested expensive element that was to be provided for free was missing, no surprise I went into suspicion. I still carry some of the program, some element of self doubt/ suspicions so of course this played out. And while ultimately it all worked out, I had to have a few stressful moments.
Now it takes great awareness not to blame or judge self as we release conditioning, programming, in this case a feeling of being incapable, less than sovereign. I can witness how that program played out and I can witness my courage in moving through all of this without inner self rejection. These times may require us to love all aspects of self and move out of the duality of self judgement. No more bitch slapping ourselves into needing to be perfect, ideal selves.
Our creations are happening faster and faster. Good news if you are creating consciously, less than wonderful if we are creating unconsciously. Becoming aware of where our thoughts and consciousness are placing attention and to witness what arises from that focus without judgment or blame is to begin to become creator gods. On a good day an incredibly fun and enjoyable process. When we are exhausted, overwhelmed, lost in self hatred, not so fun. The name of this game is catching what we’re creating. Simple, not easy. Enjoy your creations.
