Everything is holy now:
Is that a song? As I mentioned, since the beginning of the month I had often felt like I was in the Star War’s trash compactor, getting SQUEEZED. There was twice when I had that feeling like, am I coming to make it? And the answer is always no, the one asking the question will not make it to the next platform of awakening but ah the death throes can get rather dramatic at times. Hadn’t felt like this in a decade. Now I know that the one on the other side of the BIG SQUEEZE is always a major blessing but the courage it takes to get there, shewee!
I have so many gorgeous friends in the midst of the same process. I had to sit on my hands and pray madly not to go into rescue mode with one beloved but she now acknowledged I did the exact right thing not getting on my white knight amour to ride to the rescue. So yea I had to take a spin on the guilt twirl-a-whirl and let that pass through.
So I am noticing a core limiting belief, that there are things I am just not capable of managing on this glorious spinning ball called earth, is shifting slow but sure. Things that felt like mission impossible are slowly budging. For me it is heroic to have spent half an hour yesterday and today (believe me I time it) cleaning my closet and dealing with “nasty” little incompletes. I have also been in negotiation for a solar system that is leased. It triggered that not capable button big time and another little snafu just came down. Yet this is what is different. Everything is holy now. Meaning at every moment I took time to comfort the one that felt swamped, afraid, uncertain. I took time to thank myself for my courage, to acknowledge how hard what I am doing is for me. I don’t need anyone else to understand as it does not make sense. Yet I understand, I know, I celebrate. Yea, I have been pushing the rad button over and over, celebrating my courage, celebrating taking the time to not leave the human in the ditch, as I used to do. After so long trying to escape the earth, get outta here, give up this human and go Home, everything is becoming holy now. From the little “limitations” to the greatest successes. This heart just keeps opening ever more fully. First to this little, sometimes fragile feeing, human being and to all my other relationships, over 7 billion strong. Everything is holy now, can you feel it?
