On mother’s day:
So I forgot it was mother’s day. This was a very sore subject for years as I was told to choose between celebrating my birthday or mother’s day as they fall so close together. I fought this for years. Years prior to that I forced the slaves to do my bidding even when they did not do so sincerely. Yea, I felt entitled. After all, parenting is one of the hardest gig’s on the planet. Throw in the fact that wounded people try to raise unwounded people, ouch!
Despite the fact that I taught conscious parenting classes and waited until the last possible second to be a parent, I still screwed up often. Being conscious, I could witness when some experience was conditioning my daughter to believe in some limitation, to see herself as less than or somehow defective etc. Super panful to witness and of course heaps of accompanying guilt for a long time. Not now. I know and accept without any doubt I did the very best I could. Interestingly, my daughter tells me she blames me for nothing.
So first want to acknowledge every mother and tell you, I know you did the best that you would and I thank you for your efforts. However it turned out, it is not easy. I know many kids who have zero desire to celebrate their mons and have tons of reasons to be pissed. So today can be messy. Should I be inauthentic, will it lead to a fight or guilt? So blessings to all the kids who feel they got shortchanged with their moms. For years I got no celebration until we actually came up with something that feels good and authentic to both of us, to celebrate mothering any day EXCEPT mother’s day. My daughter hated the forced feeling (who wouldn’t) and was brave enough to be truthful. Kudos. Now many of my friends when this first came down blamed and shamed my daughter for her ingratitude. Also ouch. So let’s shame people for telling their experience, sounds like a plan. So I honestly forgot it was today until I got a few sweet wishes (not from my daughter.) And I do want to honor all the mothers for all the energy that is required to even do a half assed job of mothering. If you we able to be as awake and conscious as I now see so many mothers, way cool. I honor you for shifting the very fabric of this earth. And here is authentically what is arising for me. I see a way that until now, I had not been able to hold, honor, encourage my daughter’s authentic expression in a particular area. I see I missed the boat in a key way when I last saw her. So it feels absolutely delicious to send her an email and tell how how I wish I had handled the situation differently. How scrumptious to have an honesty, real, alive, shapeshifting relationship where we are able to say what we mean. Now that to me is something to celebrate.
Thanks Tawni for the video.
Jeff is today’s earth angel. He and his wife Martha sent me a voice message singing happy birthday to me in such sweet, loving voices with a beautiful message at the end. Moved me to tears. Somehow didn’t hear it until yesterday. Was an incredible gift that touched me deeply.
said that the hardest and the easiest thing in the world is
simply to be yourself.
Yes Yes Yes thanks Brian for introducing me to a lost sister. Just be you. the foundation is laid.
Fantastic news, anybody want to move to New Zealand?
