Ok back to the drawing board of Now. It is only about a week that I see how powerfully programming has still run my life unconsciously. Some of my bigger programs took years, decades to integrate: anxiety, co-dependency. attachment. And in these new frequencies I can see that all I need to do is catch it and then choose again. Yea, that was fun and now I want to play in another playground. Two that seemed to be more stuck are scarcity and the spiritual journey of healing.
My miracle buddy is such a system buster. It’s like we are at the arcade and she sees bubble of limitation forming over my head, naming old programming and all she has do do is question it and I can see through it, recognize that I have just ordered something from my Youniverse that I don’t really want.
Case in point. I said I am finding my own footsteps yet notice because the territory I am now traversing internally is so uncharted that I was still looking to anyone who seems familiar with this landscape and seeing what they are up to, giving it power in my Universe. So when yesterday I read how some beloveds are breaking free of body armoring and it is a very physical process for at least one, rather strong, I then spent the day in a very uncomfortable physical energy after seeing and integrating some ancient grief. My normal process is now a few tears and then some physical tweaks. Yet since these beloveds are perhaps going through more physical sensations I decided that to get free, I need to do this physical integration so ships ahoy, full steam ahead and all of that.
Yet the day before my friend was supporting me in removing some body armor with a ten minute mediation and some twisting of the neck with some cracks and creaks. So I was able to witness how I had programed myself to belief that to get free and fully open the heart, it is required to have certain physical experiences. Now I have no clue how this will unfold yet I KNOW the savannah path is already clearly designed and all I need to do is show up in every Now moment and see what is, rather than borrowing from others’ experience.
While I was talking to my miracle buddy I was able to spot a minimum of three or four limiting programs surfacing from the spiritual lexicon. Having devoted myself to spirituality for several decades to now reverse this devotion, ok! One of the big ones for me is “I need to heal” is that true? Boy that one can take us down a few million more lifetimes if we don’t catch it. When she told me she was exiting the spiritual path about year ago I was like what!?! Sacrilege! Now I am doing the same. Now, i choose to see the program, say yea that was fun and now I choose again,. Next! and then whatever shows up next I will roll with. Busting out of all that old programing and seeing where it will take me.
Yesterday my instant installation of a program took me to the belief I had to have a certain physical experience to get free, I was barely able to take a walk and passed out for a bit in a hot epson salt bath. So here I am, no plans, no roadmap. And I choose to TRUST absolutely this resplendent (I do so love words) heart will take me exactly where I am meant to go, one step at a time.
