On parenting and sovereignty:
OMG does the conditioning and programming go in deep for this one with parenting. Used to have so many mea culpas. Being conscious, even teaching conscious parenting classes it was so painful to watch myself seemingly condition my daughter in a limiting way. I still notice until recently I would get caught feeling i should be able to alter some of my daughter’s either less than skillful (seemingly) choices or belief if I had a better parent, she would not have to have challenges. PLEASE!
Everybody here volunteered to play the difficult (until now) game of this human/ divine seeming split until we are able to real eyes there is no split and integrate the two joyfully instead of cursing or weeping about the human in ourselves or others. What a freaking game! Once you see the “rules” and notice you imposed them on yourself, well all bets are off. But not yet, all the way for this one regarding parenting. SO I am listening to Joe Dispenza’s excellent suggestions on raising free, emotionally intelligent chidden and thinking, damn, if I’d done that my daughter would be more free of suffering. So I float that boat past her yesterday and she has a fit. “MOM! I hated that you tried to do that stuff with me.” She has told me she refused to pay ANY attention to her emotions as, for her, I was shoving my speciality on emotional intelligence down her throat. So she blew me off and went completely in the opposite direction. Typical for enneagram 8. Yet the only thing she did accept and even like was when I blatantly had her immune system jump for joy when she ate her vegetables. I said directly it was her immune and she loved that! Go figure. She said she loved I was super direct.
So what I NOW get from that was that I did not fully respect her sovereignty until very recently, trusting her to handle her own life with impeccability, trusting her soul plan, trusting her no matter now messy it might look to me (which honesty is not very much but even a little bit feels uncomfortable until now.) So just in last weeks have I sincerely been able to let her go with a “you got this!” And yea, I rather not hear the details but go for it. Cause my dearest beloved, you got this be it my daughter or humanity. Go team!
Images: daughter at about 6 months and last image is just one i came across again and just find funny, has nothing really to do with post except a lot of my rock bottom moments came as I had no clue what to do with such a strong willed child. From teachers to her horse riding coach all say, shew yea, that kid has some serious will power!
