Can you imagine waking up in peace? Can you imagine a night of minimal sleep waking up with no thought of tiredness? For me these are some of the perks of this game called awakening.
I was blessed or cursed, depending on your point of view, to feel the pangs of separation acutely, always. So I was told and perceived myself as “too sensitive.” It is only recently that I have begun to appreciate the gift this is and has been in my life. It means I was never able to tolerate harshness, judgment, unkindness initially with others, then within myself. Basically my sensitive nervous system which I used to perceive as a curse was the canary in a cage that forced me to wake up fast and to devote myself to the task.
What does wake up mean? To know Who I am, my true Identity. To see myself as unlimited, Divine, Love. There is a quote in “A Course In Miracles” where it says we will get to the point where the least amount of conflict, internal irritation, separation will be intolerable. Yea, I didn’t see this as good news until recently. It means that I have been required by my nervous system to be vigilant for that which does not feel good, I have been hyper aware of that which does not serve me.
This is called the age of anxiety. Many if not most feel the pangs of unease particularly as the structures that use to support our reality continue to crumble from governments, to economies, to marriages. It is our choice if we see this as good or bad news.
My friends who have similar commitments to this journey of remembering our inherent Divinity have started emerging out of the tunnel, rubbing their eyes and discovering a new earth of harmony and peace. The are awakening to loving, harmonious relationships and meaningful lives of purpose. In each of them I see a commitment to a few basics that become sacrosanct; they choose to love all aspects of themselves and others, to the best of their ability, they are devoted to the Remembering, they are willing to face and feel WHATEVER arises in their bodies, in their experience. On the other hand, those I see in continued conflict have chosen a slower path of a longer time frame with less intensity. There is no right or wrong here, merely choice.
Yet to move beyond the anxiety does take a commitment, in my experience, to this inner journey of self mastery. The good news of these times to me is how many are now choosing to dedicate themselves to this inner freedom. Those that have made that choice are beginning to receive the fruits of their labors, the unexpected miracles, the inner freedom and more miraculous lives outwardly
What I want to say is that for the first time in my life I wake up not wondering if I can tolerate life. I wake up at peace even on a morning such as this one where my eyes are blurry with tiredness and the day will again be very hot. I feel totally neutral about both of those facts! Now that is freedom! Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying my life is without challenges, I have one most would consider a show stopper. I just view it differently. I am not afraid. I no longer view life as a struggle. I no longer fear I can’t make it. I often see the miracle, the greatest of which is to rest in love more often then not; to be able to tame and master the part of my self that wants to wrestle alligators and blame the world for my woes. I wake up and no longer wish I could switch lives with someone else inured to life’s cruelties. If you are curious how far I have come you can look at my old blog post at http://lovesaysyes.blogspot.com going back almost six years to see the arc of this inner search for self mastery. Please understand I offer this as encouragement, if I can gain this level of peace, anyone can. The basic difference I see in how fast people unravel and are restored to wholeness is their level of commitment and I am totally good that mine was not top notch as what I saw some spiritual adepts go through to wake up was. not. pretty.
This freedom is available to all of us in this now moment. There is no self blame, no judgment, no comparison hopefully for those who have chosen a more meandering route. I know the forerunners who are way ahead of me in consciousness often had a much more arduous journey yet are now enjoying incredible magic and miracles. God bless, would not have been for me and I thank them for paving the way for the rest of us. No worries whether you chose the path of the turtle or the hare. Merely choose now if you had enough of suffering to love the part of yourself in pain, to devote yourself to feeling whatever arises as physical sensation in your body, to know yourself as a spark of the divine and to let go of any belief that says otherwise. While we must each find our own way Home, this is what is working for me. Still a play in progress. Simple, yes? Not always easy but always so worth the price of admission.
remembering the joy of being
