In order to get free we have to be open to what is possible. It was only last fall that I understood it was possible to be free of fear. Then in winter I understood I could be free of suffering, I saw in spring it must be possible to be free of death. Initially these were just intellectual concepts but I intended to actualize them. I found others who had already done so and followed their lead. Now I am drawn to teaching about death and the universe keeps dropping them in my lap. As I clear out my tapes, I tried one from Tolle and immediately he speaks of death. I see I cannot be free unless I am free here too.
Almost no one joined my joy practice. For most, it is not the season for joy. We must each simply survive the unraveling. We want to change it, speed it up with our good deeds. In my experience it takes as long as it takes. It does not move faser because we are good. It is not our fault it is taking so long. One of the worst beliefs to beat ourselves up with, certainly the one I hit myself with the most was, this will never end. I truly wondered if I’d ever experience joy consistently. I now know this is our destiny. We don’t get there by seeking joy rather by being with whatever guest arrives today. Know it is all possible without comparing or blaming yourself you are not there now. Please don’t make the mistakes I did; as best you can trust yourself no matter how long this holy unraveling seems to take.
remembering the joy of being
