I have been re-listening to some Eckhart Tolle tapes as I continue my massive cleaning project. He used to be my main squeeze and I still deeply admire him. I would listen to him speak as the opening to my classes as a way to ground students in their bodies. His teachings were crucial to me beginning in 2001 when I had to make a difficult decision right after 9/11 whether or not to return from visiting our in-laws in Austria a few days after the attack traveling with my daughter who had just turned one. The fear that generated threw me into Tolle’s teaching about allowing and surrender.
Yet about a year ago I realized how hard I was TRYING to surrender, an oxymoron for sure. So I had to wake up out of trying and notice I just had needed to survive whatever was happening, that was enough when done with intent and a focus on love. Words are so inadequate to differential these ways of being, like trying to split hairs but perhaps you get the sense of it. There can be tremendous self blame in the trying to surrender, to allow, like it is our fault this is happening because we are not surrendered enough. NOT! It is not your fault when things are so challenging, it is part of the unraveling. This energy has its way with us, whatever it takes to wake us out of identification with a false self. Once we are committed, we can just take the ride.
For long periods of time you may need to reduce activity and just do the bare minimum while the energy has its way with you. I did a lot of serious hammock time in silence when ever possible interspersed with some navel gazing. Then when the energy shifts, you may feel the need to do massive cleaning, making trips to the thrift store as you offload all that is no longer needed. Trust your own inner knowing to guide you through choppy waters especially when you feel most clueless. Listen to your own inner music.
remembering the joy of being
