As a parent, I have taken a different route from mainstream. I began the shift 7 years ago when I saw our relationship was not as I preferred. I have stuck with it and I find it is not always easy to follow my own path without any signpost or trails leading the way. I sometimes have wondered if my instincts were good. The main thing I have done is when conflict would arise, I first look within myself and use it as an opportunity for my own transformation back to wholeness. The amazing thing is that from this point, all shifted and is now so harmonious, so as I always dreamed. I have been teaching classes in parenting so it sure felt good to begin to see intimacy and connection, the life affirming behaviors I envisioned.
Yesterday was such a confirmation. My daughter has said for a long time that at 15, she has already had her mid life crisis a tad early. As we watched a gorgeous sunset last night, she said that when ever she sees the sunset, she realizes it could be her last one so she better enjoy her life now. To hear such wisdom, that she does enjoy her life was all the verification I could ask for.
UPDATED
OK another parenting moment. Why do I/we so often feel the need to correct children’s behavior when it is a bit snappy or snarly? I notice if I comment, it tends to escalate, when I ignore and bless it, wondering what the source of irritation or challenge in the other might be to evoke such behavior, the behavior switches on a dime to sweetness, almost like magic. Could it be because I choose to see everyone, even surly teenagers, as the Beloved, at least when I have my sh*t together. I also notice I very rarely encounter surly teenagers and find teenagers generally delightful, again contrary to the cultural myth.