Beloveds, What is coming up for me lately is the awareness of the violence of some of my old spiritual beliefs, old Catholic guilt arising and calling me a sinner. When I am in that space I am full of self blame. I have been around the block enough times to no longer blame or judge others but am detecting the subtle waft of self blame in myself. Here’s where it tends to play out; it’s my fault that xyz is happening. If only I would think different, feel different, be more loving, more productive, more wise etc., this situation would be different. I see this in the last big situation in my life where I have not experienced a lot of movement, one that triggers survival fears. A few months ago I would have cut myself short by not seeing all the ways this has shifted, all the ways the Mystery provides me with continual support. Reading Adyashanti’s post below brought it front and center, violence against self indeed. It hurts me now to see others blaming themselves, seeing themselves as defective, as inadequate as I have done so many times. So what is the antidote? Is it possible for me, for you, for us to see the beauty of what is arising, trusting it ultimately is serving to bring us to freedom, to remembrance, to the Love that we are in the fastest and most efficient way possible? Could it be possible that I, you, we have never done anything wrong, EVER? That is what I am beginning to feel, to taste, to know. I/ YOU/WE ARE INNOCENT! There is no original sin even though some of us have sure been indoctrinated to believe there is. What if everything is occurring exactly as it is suppose to? What if it is all God as Matt Kahn says repeatedly? Could we let ourselves off the hook of self judgment? Could we honor and adore ourselves as blessed beings of the Divine. Could we trust that we never made a mistake and never will? I say YES to all of this. It is now easy for me to see the innocence in everyone else and often even in myself EXCEPT when it comes to this remaining challenge. It must be my fault, right? I say NO to blame. I declare I am setting myself free NOW of all blame. I declare I am no longer waiting for some desired outcome to show me my innocence, I am affirming I am innocent regardless of what life decides to throw my way. I am setting you/me/us free. This feels like a magic moment for sure, courtesy of these powerful waves of light energy. I feel tears prick my eyes as I release the burden of guilt. I pray you feel this with me. May we all be blessed with the absolute certainty of our own innocence.
Dictionary definition of trust:
trust |trəst|
noun
1 firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something
It’s OK I don’t trust life: Matt Kahn. It is OK I don’t trust myself: Savannah Hanson.
Spiritual people can be some of the most violent people you will ever meet. Mostly, they are violent to themselves. They violently try to control their minds, their emotions, and their bodies. They become upset with themselves and beat themselves up for not rising up to the conditioned mind’s idea of what it believes enlightenment to be. Adyashanti
remembering the joy of being
Darling Savannah Love…., it has been a looooooong wilhe since I respond in here but ……..
. ….Ascension shittttttt…… happend………… Big Time….Oh Lord♡
But Is it possible that some “dark energy” can attack us to the degree that we feel not good enough? ????? Even if I am not Chatolic? Or is it only me performing selfjudgment, from a deep level inside of me? So even if I am innocent I can love the selfhate raising in me?…And that is hard to love….
I must say ( and maybe somebody else also will understand) that the last 3 weeks I have had theeeee most selfjudgment voice in my head to the degreee like you are: a failure, nobody loves you, you have Nothing, You are soooo petty, you are not worth living, you …. You should go an kill your self, you must die, nobody Care. So the voice says to me: you should go an kill your self, and I say I should……, Thank you lovely voice, now I gonna go kill my self…..I will go and kill my EGO that is lissen to your totaly shity voice. Cause without my ego I am Light, I am Love and I Came to this Earth to do a difference and that do NOT include killing my self ( like my lovely body, and that is by the way one gorgeus body of the humankind if I must say…lol). I have Love in my heart and that Love I came to share on earth….. You have NO power here, but I love you, does that hurt???? Good, come into my heart and I will take your hurt away……..
Well some crazy feelings from Malene in this inzane, bizare, intens ascensionstimes.
Love to you sister Savnnah 🙂
Oh Beloved,
I know that voice all too well and have tussled with it many a year. I am so sorry it is being so harsh with you, trying to get you to believe things that are so far from the truth. May you be blessed with peace and inner calm as soon as possible. sending you a love wave, big time.
What I have discovered for myself is that, as impossible as it sounds, I must love it all. Otherwise I split myself into good/bad and continue the inner battle. Instead I love the part of me that feels crazy, that feels inadequate, that feels like it is too much, that feels like it will never end. I no longer hate or try to kill any part of myself, not matter how ugly. I love it all.
Yes, the last three weeks have been non-stop rotor rooter cleansing with accompanying physical intensity like I haven’t felt in many years. At the same time I have more innocence coming forward then ever, almost no desire to control it and an increasing trust all is well, that all is unfolding only with our highest wellbeing at heart. It has taken me sooooo long to come to that level of awareness and feels very good. Surrender is my operative word. I don’t know how to do this, no clue how to surrender, what to do about the physical intensity so I just keep surrendering and that feels so good. So great to “see” you again. May you be blessed with the certain knowledge of what a masterpiece you are.