Here’s what is dawning on me. It was such a heart opener to read Maureen McClements post yesterday and fully own what a great job I am doing as a parent to my daughter. I also could own that I have not yet remembered how to love the one that sometimes still feels so over sensitive, anxious and debilitated. It came in so clear how hungry my heart was to have love sent to those most “troublesome” parts of myself. I do see how anxiety has been my greatest teacher although I can not yet fully appreciate that part of myself. I am now saying to myself, as I say so often in a similar form to my daughter, “How did I get so lucky to be born me, how was I so blessed?” It was almost exactly a year ago, the day after my birthday that I could fully recognize I did love myself, a life long dream. Yet this anxious part has still been, despite many years of attention and effort, subtly or not so subtly rejected. I felt the wound of that rejection pierce my heart and have redoubled my self care and compliments. I had such a peaceful, dare I say joyful day with such grace with my daughter as we completed previously unwelcomed tasks with grace. Maureen blessed me with some information about her journey and I see again it is about letting the past go, letting go of this identity as one who always suffers from oversensitivity or anxiety. It has been super challenging to feel so debilitated while going through one of the most intensely busy periods of my life. I also ask for your prayers as one part of my vision comes true this Tuesday as I do a parenting event at my daughter’s school. This is my deep passion, to support parent’s in loving their own hearts so they can assists their children in never falling out of love with themselves. I am still experiencing nausea, especially when I look toward the future with overwhelm. I am adoring the one who still feels a bit shaky and does not yet know how to fully love that super vulnerable part of myself. Lucky the Universe has my back and I don’t need to figure it out. I just turn it over and keep on loving.
remembering the joy of being
