Boy, this transmutation stuff sure is depleting my physical body at this time. Who knew switching to the fifth dimension was going to be so grueling, right? Here’s my latest big embodied awareness; Matt isn’t kidding when he says whatever arises, love that. I see that inadvertently I kept trying to fix myself by controlling my thoughts, my behavior, my vibration. What has kicked into gear lately is not to try to change ANYTHING but just love the heaven out of whatever behavior, situation, physical condition that arises without trying to change or control ANYTHING! What a bloody relief to get out of the God game and get into the love revolutionary game. So simple and easy to remember, right, just love it all, no questions asked. And yea, I got here kicking and screaming until I didn’t feel the desire to rant and rave anymore. The timing is so not up to me. I also get surrender in a whole new embodied way. I still can’t say I am having fun yet although I do have at least a dozen belly laughs a day. I mean the whole thing is like a giant comedy if I see it one way which feels way better then when all I saw was tragedy.
UPDATE:
O.K., here’s what else is coming up. For years I worried because I was so depleted and exhausted and money seemed to be running away. How could I possibly make ends meet with so little physical energetic resources at my disposal? I thought there is no way I can do much other then be a parent, along with so very little of my soul work that brings in income and often lay around and simply transmute energy. I always looked into the future and it sure looked like I was screwed. So here is what has been coming in stronger all the time. I recognized God was my employer and web master about a decade ago. I love having the Universe as my banker. But the truth is I trusted it for shit. What if it is really true? What if I can follow my impulses as a love revolutionary and I am completely taken care of along with my daughter? What if I am complexly fulfilling my “job” already and I don’t have to push myself, beat myself, subtly judge myself for not DOING more? Wow, that would be a miracle of faith and trust and that is the direction I am pointed, a bulldog on a pork chop living my destiny.
I am so with you sister.
Lovehugs xxx
so good to “see”you again. Funny how much easier it sometimes is for me to have total faith for others. Hang in there my love.
super gaint hug
“this transmutation stuff sure is depleting my physical body at this time”….
Amen to that! http://www.oraclereport.com for today 4/17 has some explanation of this. Has to do with the end of the old year (astrologically speaking) and the start of the new year tomorrow. I don’t understand it all, but she sure described where I am today…(and the last few nights of poor sleep haven’t helped either). Ah well, this too shall pass.
Love to all. <3
I hear you B.J. I had the great good fortune to go to an amazing local healer who is generally booked out a year and I somehow snuck in the back door. Feel sooooo much better, said he opened energy gates in my joints and something above my heart , etc. Energy medicine is the future. Then got a massage, heaven! I read the Oracle Report too but feels like it is something more or less continuously so now it just seems a constant blur of intensity. That lack of sleep is one of my least favorite experiences, hope you sleep super tonight. This process is way longer then I am sure any of us could have imagined. Lucky we didn’t know what we were getting in to, right? Sleep well, darling.
Thank you, Beloved. I did sleep much better last nite. 🙂
Big hug!
Yippee! Good to hear. xoxoxox
Woohoo!! SO with you on that update especially and so been feeling exactly what you’ve been describing about the faith and trusting being provided for while we just ‘be’ ~ so been watching huge structural layers of distrust and betrayal around that just sloughing off in the last two days as Pluto stationed ~ been seriously around and surfacing and h a n g i n g a b o u t for the last month and it’s so good to feel that shifting ~ can feel so buried in it sometimes and sooo ‘I cannot be fucked to love anything right now’ (in that wondrous spiritual disobedience way I have)… 😉 😉 😉
And also, just wanted to say helloooo! And I love you!! And finally some movement on all fronts as we head into the new moon and it feels GOOD after being held so static amidst the IMMENSE energetic movement…phewweeee I could use that fresh NEW air! Bring. It. On. Where are my party shoes….anyone? Anyone? 😉
Sending you beautiful Spring sunshine, gusty chilly cleansing wind blowing all those ‘preparation’ cobwebs away and all the sparkly newness just starting to peek it’s head out again as we near the end of this darn powerful wormhole…..uuuuuuuhhhhhhh…
Cookies…? Haha LOVE LOVE and cuddles!
Sara ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
Darling how super delicious to see your gorgeous face joining us this morning. What a freakin ride, right? Holy cow. Oh yea, I am thinking of making some faith/trust shoes with glue on them to help me stay glued to that elusive number called faith when everything we have known that held us in our false safety bubbles is getting blown to smithereens. I too am having a blast with spiritual disobedience with the F you and the horse you rode in on to the Universe sometimes, like lay off or I am going to punch you. At my healing session yesterday I kept telling the healer, I so want to hit you. He said, not me, it’s your father you want to knock out. I said, no, you are the only one in the room and you are the one inflicting pain on me as you release me from this old pattern and seriously, I really want to clobber you. Like enough already with all this healing cr*p ( I am taking a radio broadcasting class and must learned to stop swearing.)
Yup so ready to party we did party a bit last night and I could actually enjoy it as I came out of my comatose fog. The money front is still getting my goat. Here’s what I just posted to the angel academy group: I have made peanuts over the years devoted to my teaching/spiritual work focused on self love and awake parenting. I get WHY this happening to me now, my old sources of income drying up so I dive more deeply into faith and trust. I get how at the core first chakra level I do not yet fully trust myself, the Divine plan, the Universe. I get it. Ouch. The one belief that keeps tripping me up is if I spend money I have less, therefore I do feel worried when I spend mad money like last night for a cheap massage and dinner. Feels horrible NOT to treat myself with little trips or experiences that are so nourishing but then triggers fear/worry about $. SOSOSOSOSo ready to have this release from my field and ADORING the one that worries and wants this to go away. Luckily I 100% know it is for the highest good and even see the lessons of trust and limitlessness this is pushing me into.
Yea, I get it but I am ready to curl up on the couch with friends, sip some wine in front of the fire and just RELAX and celebrate how unbelievably awesome we all are YEA!
P.s., the wormhole is not over yet? thought is ended last month? Possibly relief in sight? Basically have given that idea up.
Hahahaha I know exactly what you mean about giving that hope up!! Haha well technically this new moon closes the wormhole, as the one a month ago opened it, so it has to go full circle ~ the Full Moon was the last eclipse but the mid~way point of the wormhole…I believe that’s right…so yes, if relief were to be expected, it should be arriving starting now…we all bloomin’ well hope….hahaha ~ certainly feeling this way to me ~ since the Equinox has been a fully amazing and most unpleasant but weirdly peaceful ride…’twould be good to get the full blossoming now of all that it has heralded…
So good to come and sparkle with you here ~ been soooo crapping out of it and not sure if I’ll ever blog again sometimes ~ like I have spent the whole of 2015 literally pulling my energy back from everyone, everything, every role, every pattern, every belief system and every experience I have ever had and for now it’s like the rebalancing I need is to give NOTHING out unless it a) feels totally easy and right and b) is in a supportive direction for me, be it person or situation or anything else (shown to me by a) 😉 ) ~ honestly, it’s been quite uncomfortable because my whole system was totally wired the other way (constant giving) and even after everything we’ve been through I had NO IDEA how that was still running and how!!
Now I feel like I have pulled out of everything that has been, in quite a conscious way, and although it’s not like visible surface resolution as such (endings or closings), I can absolutely feel what’s bright and shiny and loving in my world so far (not much! But what there is is so wondrous and mainly heart~people such as your gorgeous self 😉 ) and what is now completely in limbo without me feeding to see if it’s going to be around in my life for the next cycle or not ~ but whatever happens, tis not up to me ~ I have done my bit across the board, and now whatever wants to be in my world has to meet me there, because I can no longer support anything that doesn’t equally support me ~
Oh my god the sense of freeeeeeeeedom!!!!!! Despite the discomfort of sometimes feeling churlishly selfish/unfeeling as I do not feed everything and everyone I have ever known on some basic energetic level 😉 , I feel like I am emerging from a long dark tunnel of unwitting energetic slavery and now simply need to bob to the surface and start swimming in my ocean….yelah!! Huzzah!! I have arrived…again, and at this now level….and on we go 😉
Phew my god I was not expecting that all to flow but then this is our magic! Hahaha ~ a Sara~Sparkle update for you there darling! Resonating massively with your abundance experiences too…as ever! That’s shifting big time too…gently and seamlessly, as usual when it finally gets round to shifting!! Love it
Loving all Savannah~tidbits and updates in your reply and cheering us all on from my little (HUGE) heart~corner while we emerge blinking into the light of a new dawn…
Bout. Bloody. Time. 😉
LOVE ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
Ah darling you are a wonder and what a gift to have you in my world. Luckily much of the time I love being a cheerleader and I too have had to let myself be in the crapper when I am, without nary a word of wisdom or encouragement when that is where I am. Yes, if I allow myself to swim those murky waters eventually I bob to the surface all ready to say yes we can. So much easier to say it when I think of all my loves. I am actually crying now as I know we have such a gorgeous group of magic souls and I cannot let these magical being down, it is a deep soul calling, knowing, soul commitment I feel it burning in me so deeply in this moment and yes that came out of left field and is just knocking me over with the power of my commitment.
Darling, I am so proud of you for sticking to your soul longing and doing what it directed you to do and after that one little hiccup that so served me, have been always 100% behind you, loving you for loving yourself, so delicious and good role modeling. You are a treasure my love, shine one!
Hahaha yes totally didn’t see that as a hiccup as it powerfully served us both, even though it was a tricky one! <3 ~ in a way I can see how everything has been leading me up to this point where my self~love and trust is strong enough to truly see the energetic situation as it is without doubting it ~ so neutral and so accepting, yet so sovereign in knowing what's right for me ~
The totally delicious thing is that there is SUCH an obvious difference now ~ those who live in the heart I don't even have to think about in this way ~ it's just flows ~ the energy flow is delicious and nourishing and equally so, no effort required ~ the sovereignty is present and so whatever we need just gets stated or just quietly followed and we all just take responsibility for ourselves whilst loving everyone ~ tis magic and sparkly and soooo restful and beloved by me ~ such an understatement!
Everyone else it's like I have had some serious wool pulled off my eyes, and I can totally love it anyway ~ even those I thought I had a mutually loving connection with, I realised that (unconsciously for the most part, of course) they literally never showed any but the most peripheral interest in who I really am ~ never asked, or if they did it was to talk about themselves or whatever ~ and so all these people I thought I had a supportive connection with, were simply getting nourished and supported by me and if there was the slightest hint of me not being sweet as pie and obliging, not okay and no go!
Such a shocker, and yet really not surprised at all ~ because what I love is that I just don't mind! Sure I listen and love whatever I need to feel about it to myself, but it's just been amazingly illuminating because I have just shown myself this clearly, and so each time had the opportunity to realise a) what a ridiculous soft and sweet and giving person I am all the bloody time, b) that I would like a conscious CHOICE in that now, thank you very bloody much and c) I can now quietly and loving choose how or not to participate in something that isn't supporting me with clarity about the probably consequences ~
I actually have Stefan to thank for this final clarity in the main ~ what a colossal transformation that connection provided me ~ outrageous!
Christ in Heaven it is GOOD ~ and it feel like it's now time to get me out of every physical and energetic situation that has got me to this point, because it's all unconsciously part of this old pattern and I need a rest! This feels like the next step in the plan now and I am welcoming it with no idea how it's going to happen…ah the mystery ~ so delighted to be riding it with so many beloved and incredible souls in this wave…beauty and grace and bliss with you all…
So, darling ~ oh yes ~ I can't tell you how often and how many time I have felt you, and all our beloved heart~loves and this amazing LOVE~web we have all created together, just shining on this planet and supporting each other and feeling so grateful, and also giving me that extra delight and urge in just being this process for us all, because my god we are so bright and shiny and brave and wondrous, and we truly have done it ~ we are just assimilating and integrating and allowing it to blossom onto all levels ~
Thank you so much for all your love and support and sovereign presence, beloved ~ you are such a yummy scrummy shining star and I love you! Always here and always loving with and for and as you! I never considered your presence in my life as anything other than exactly this, however it presented in our flow…I know you have always been 100% supportive of me, however it felt ~ mmmmmwah! 😉 <3
Cookies and joy and sister~love all the way….
Sara ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
See in this moment Germany is joining the gang. Pop in and say hello if you ever feel like it and in the meantime welcome to the party.
OK, what is going on! I responded two times to you and both times they evaporated, one time really threw me into a tailspin. I so loved both responses, let’s see what happens this time.
Sara, I adore how you are covering two angles that are not my primary interest, the joy and the sovereignty. The way I pulled out of my funk of losing those two longer post was noticing the little things that brought me joy, my coffee cup, the smell of lemon blossoms, the warm breeze and bird calls, slowing down and comforting myself as the morning felt challenging. In this moment don’t want to again rewrite all I wrote. Enough to say I cherish the web of light and love we have created from Europe, to Australia, Canada, US, South America, Middle East and so on. So many dear ones connected in support and encouragement. I love being a cheerleader except when I don’t and then I am totally ok being in bah humbug until I pop back up. I love how you held in your truth, know it serves all. I love how your awareness transfers somehow to me, knowing you’ve got it covered somehow for all of us. I love that the agony of Stefan so clearly lead to the knowing now. I love that we are guided even when kicking and screaming, I love our courage and I love knowing one day we will meet, hold hands, nibble on cookies and bow in gratitude for this love that holds us in such a powerful net of gratitude and appreciation, even in the darkest hours.
Darlings,
My daughter takes a test today and Thursday required for her graduation. Please send her some gorgeous love light for successful completion.