out of my mind, living in unity consciousness

OMG loves, so much energy on the move. Yesterday till evening not the easiest but then had such a breakthrough this morning. It began with a powerful dream. I woke up from a long DEEP sleep and had such a hard time remembering the dream. I stayed motionless, as  I tried hard to recall more of the dream and what a certain character said but to no avail. Here is what I remember:

Go to beach with ciela, walk from house but forgot something; go back to house, all furniture is pushed to the side of the room (like at my friend Karin’s yesterday in Yuba City), underneath the dirty carpet which they pulled up is gorgeous hardwood floors, find out having astrological workshop and they are setting up, seems I did not know about it, two astrologers want to give me a reading, I say to myself, OMG this is the third or fourth thing that has happened to me exactly after I asked for it, this is amazing, truly astonishing how powerful magic this is. One actually tells me something short but extremely powerful and I KNOW it is the primary answer to all my questions. In real life after I woke up from deep sleep I try desperately to recall what he said. He had looked deep into my eyes and said it. I could not remember a word after waking up. In the dream we go back to beach on an open cart. As it pulls away I notice I forgot my jacket and something else and run after the cart to grab it. It pulls away again and I notice two more objects. I run after it as it pulls away then I stop, it goes on, I run again, it stops I get close to it, it goes on, I run with this stop/start several times and once it pulled fairly far away but I totally chase it and finally catch it at a stop sign, I think. On the cart is my old antique rocker ( in real life I’d given this rocker to a local store, Main Street Kids to sell. The rocker was something the store decided to keep for display and there was some confusion as in the end I never got paid for it.) There was also a broken red toy sleigh I have rotting out in my yard in real life. (end of dream)

When I woke up I I wondered that I chased so long for things I do not need anymore. My deep understanding and realization was I keep chasing dead beliefs and limitations, I must let them go. I was also super clear these are magical times, we must trust, KNOW, believe.  I have two old limiting beliefs dancing on the edge of my awareness I can now release. The level of clarity, enthusiasm, presence, joy is remarkable. I UNDERSTAND AND SEE. I KNOW how powerful we are if we can ONLY get out of our own way. I also know revelation is intensely personal but doing my best to put it into words.

I then get a phone call from Europe and learn something wonderful and fun has been planned and confirmed. I am late for dance but rush off anyway. I arrive and have the most joyful, present, alive, flowing dance EVER. I am totally one with the music, never moving from my head as often normally happens. I am in my body just dancing as one. I end up dancing with over maybe a third of the people in the room. I have several sensual dances. I dance with a number of men. Normally I dance with one or two people I know, almost never with “strangers” and rarely with men. I feel this chi, life force, sexual energy radiating off of me. I have been cut off from sexual energy more or less completely since my marriage ended, mostly by choice, until now. Interestingly, I just started pulling my partner into my field, releasing the lock I had put on that desire. I then feel a powerful presence directly to my left and look but no one is there. I look again as I feel warmth radiating from this presence. I then hear a sigh that turns out to be coming from far away but sounded like it was directly in my ear. I jump it sounded so loud. I feel a strong benevolent energy right next to me. The facilitator later told me he pulled in these energetic beings. 

I have only come to this 5 rhythms dance group a few times as when I tried to come before  the music for the chaos rhythm was jarring and overwhelming to me. Now I loved the music, I loved the dance, I felt no sense of separation I usually feel to a greater or lesser  degree. I felt close to all, deep sense of belonging instead of feeling mildly like an outsider as I come so rarely to this very tight community of dancers.

I then have lunch with two men and some very interesting conversations. I am still on cloud nine, because I am so super clear about questions that had been nagging at me. I am fully in my own experience and it feels wonderful. I also want to mention a powerful experience I had when I was traveling around the world. We did a 10 day silent Vipassana retreat on Koh Phangan in Thailand. At the end of the retreat when we could speak I had a nice conversation with a man. About six months later we are in Cairns Australia the day after Christmas and a man comes up to me with sunglasses and says, mysteriously, you know who I am. Honestly, I had not clue. He lifts up his sunglasses and I fall into his eyes. He tells me the answer to every question I have ever had, the meaning of life and how to navigate the mystery. My mouth falls open as I get how hugely significant this is. I do not have the feeling I am speaking to a person. Then he walks off and that is it! It was the man from Thailand. I want to write down what he said, to never forget it but instantly I FORGOT IT! I am stunned that I could forget something so important but it is true. I am recounting to you an experience I had almost 25 years ago and it remains as vivid as if it happened hours ago. I am still a little bit high from all of this. Energy is racing through my body and it feels almost too much in my brain. I swear it is like the circuits are being rewired as we speak which is why I want to get this down quickly in case it goes again. Darlings, the Mystery is alive and flourishing in my life now. So many wondrous and magical experiences. This is a moment of enchantment ( enchantment noun 1. a feeling of great pleasure; delight). It is as though the veil has been lifted and I can SEE. I will enjoy the ride as long as it  last. I hope I can convey to you the sense of excitement this glimpse into the Mystery has evoked. Darlings, we are not in Kansas anymore (“Wizard of Oz movie reference for non American readers). So MUCH LOVE