Here is a comment I just made at ThinkwithYourHeart.com It speaks of the shifts unfolding within over the last months.
I have had such stunning clarity for two days now, since Friday. I see the key piece over the last months has been moving into full remembrance of my Identity, the yearning of many lifetimes. I have known it intellectually for so long yet it dropped in more fully lately and seems to have arrived full stop these last two days. The last week has been extraordinarily uncomfortable. Last week was my daughter’s final field trip where parents were chaperones before she graduates from 8th grade. I fulfilled my dream by going for the first time on a field trip yet was pushed beyond my physical limits by a steep cliff climb, went head over heals on the slippery downhill climb right into poison oak, got lost with the kids in San Francisco with my GPS awol, the driver I was following leaving me at a red light, my nervous system on full overload. I can’t sleep normally as I have to be propped in bed to avoid spreading the poison oak to more of my face and body, I got a bad cold, the poison oak keeps spreading, my washing machine is leaking, I can’t really afford a new one and I have to do the wash constantly as I have to wash everything I touch. And on and on. By now it is almost funny. My sense is that the Universe has kept throwing irritants at me to test me to be sure that no matter what arises, my response remains the same. Here is my answer to every situation, I check in with my inner child to let her know she is loved and adored, I go with whatever is arising , I surrender to the Mystery (my new favorite word), I don’t analyze or try to figure out what is happening. One of the greatest miracles of these times is I have finally F I N A L L Y lost the need to control my life, boss myself around, follow my own spiritual rules to be saved. OVER and DONE. So my external life sucks on so many levels yet I feel untouched by it because i remember Who I am. This is the great game changer in my life. Whatever arises, I love myself. Simple and now, finally, easy. From this place, I see everything with clarity and nothing affects me as it did. Crapolla, this is arrival. Gotta share one more poem, it is so perfect.
‘The Journey’ by Mary Oliver
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice – – –
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
‘Mend my life!’
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations – – –
though their melancholy
was terrible. It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice,
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do – – – determined to save
the only life you could save.