Spiritual teacher Matt Kahn describes the ego as an overactive nervous system. And how! I see so many struggling mightily right now including people who have decades-long spiritual practices. It can be easy to come down on the pesky human qualities yet they are the ones desperately in need of our love. Simple, not easy. As I work with clients (and myself) the depths of how primal these energies of abandonment, unlove, rejection can go is astounding. Now more than ever it is time to love them up.
Yesterday the Mystery told me to copy an old post from another site onto my timeline. It was over 2 months ago so did not want to search for it and put it off. Today a friend liked the post at the top of my notifications, presto, problem solved. Gotta love the Mystery. Here it is:
Savannah Hanson
March 16
SAFE SAFE SAFE. seeing more and more this is the key. Was huge for me to stop seeing love outside of me and to recognize it within, to stop seeking someone to love me and to truly love myself. That took many years but now embodied but I still did not feel safe in my own skin. That did not occur until I committed to moving beyond fear and last year did! That involved disidentification with the body, no small task I assure you. But the Mystery always arranges the exact circumstances we need to “Get it.” The more I resist, the harder the lesson. Now it is much easier to get it with a nudge instead of a 2 X 4. So here is the latest. I see that I still perceive some of my character “challenges” or “weaknesses” as the fatal flaw that keeps me from safety. I blame God for not being safe but of course, all doubt is ultimately self-doubt. I assure my inner little one, Suzie, that she is safe. She used to not trust due to atrocities but think I recently put that one to bed. What remains is this self-doubt due to a few “fatal flaws” small compared to the ones I used to judge myself for but still there: messy, disorganized, procrastination, for believing or needing to live so slowly, feeling like I still need so much time in silence alone, unwilling to work unless I love what I am doing, those are basically it. Have felt like a punishing God would smite me for rarely if ever bowing to 3D rules about security. Here is what I am coming to. IT has always stayed with me a dream Matt (Kahn) shared where he was facing a jury and was confessing all his sins and mistakes. I don’t remember exactly but think the judge would say something like not guilty and the whole crowd would roar approval. Ultimately as I remember it, Matt said I forgive myself for never doing anything wrong (but thinking he had) and the crowd went wild shouting their approval. This to me is the whole point even if I remember dream wrong. This to me is the bottom line where we realize we are SAFE and have never done anything wrong. My own mantra: I AM SAFE! I am safe to be myself. I am safe, I have always been safe, I will always be safe and so are you! 
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